Friday, January 27, 2017

Back Home with a Happy Mom

Mom wasn't happy at all about the loooooooooong drive home to Kingston, OK.  She is very happy to be here again though.

She has her teddy bears from home, her fuzzy purple blanket Tammy gave her, and her warm pillow made on demand by Terry this afternoon.

Everyone wants to fulfill her every desire.

She is a blessed lady indeed.

We try to get her to walk with her walker as much as we can.

She complains her hip hurts whenever she walks, but the doctors said there is nothing broken or fractured.  I hope they didn't miss something.

She certainly likes to eat.  That hasn't changed.  She ALWAYS has to have her ice cream after dinner.

And I am really surprised to find that she LIKES to have her picture taken.  She always smiles for me.

After dinner, she wants to watch MASH.

Only problem with that is NOBODY ON EARTH can figure out how the DVD Player works except for Jerry.

The Social Worker, Ashley, and Terry and I ALL tried to play Mom's music CD's for her yesterday.

There are only FIVE controllers to figure out.

Mom has Hospice now.  They don't do much really.  They brought some equipment from their own DME company, but it didn't work and we had to get it from our own company.  Thank goodness, we can do that.  They did bring a bedside commode that works well.  They also provide Ensure and bed pads and her medications.

A nurse comes, if necessary, and a doctor eventually comes.

Mother's good friend, Sharon, is coming tonight.  I need to start dinner.  I hope Mother will nap for awhile.  She is so demanding.  Wants something constantly.  She asks for the same thing over and over.  I KNOW that goes along with Dementia, but it really does get on one's nerves after a whole day.

We both love gospel music.  I put five of her CD's on, but two of them are really messed up.  I took those out and put in my Elvis gospel CD's.  I'm loving it as I type this BLOG to you.

She is ALWAYS cold.  Gotta go heat up the rice pillow Terry made her.  I need her to make one big enough to cover her whole body!

Be back soon.

Hugs, Joy


  1. Dear Joy.

    Have been thinking of you and the difficult journey which has begun for you and your loved ones. But, I do detect that sense of humour peeking out! A much needed attribute which you have in abundance.

    Something within your blogs that will really help others who are dealing with dementia within their own families or with friends is your HONESTY. Few people admit to feeling annoyed, irritated or just fed up. Those of us who have had to deal with THE Monumental A or Big A, as my family and friends refer to it, know that it is not directed at the person but the challenging situation. We know that the hour to hour and day to day care taking, even with help, takes a toll on even the strongest person physically, mentally, financially and often their relationships. If that isn't enough.... Then there is the "Guilt" we beat ourselves with for even having such thoughts; we are so hard on ourselves and it can be absolutely exhausting. It is O.K. to voice feelings; it is the healthiest option. I am so happy that you have a voice, Joy.

    Having Hospice is a great first step but as you have now experienced, it is not enough. You need lots of "me time" away from the fray.

    We can hire nannies for our children.....are there any agencies where you live that provide granny care? With the economy the way it is many people can not afford nannies so.....possibly you could employ a nanny?

    You need "me time"...Out to dinner with your husband, lunch with a friend, sewing time, etc. so I hope you are able to access the kind of help you need.

    Joy, some of us know from first hand experience what you are going through and empathize with this very difficult road which you have chosen.....or did it choose you? Again, I wish you peace of mind, spirit and continued strength.

    Many hugs to you and yours.

  2. Ooops. I think I forgot to sign my name.
    Hugs again. JoAn

  3. Isn't your mom lovely? Joy, JoAn above is absolutely right about you getting "me time". But having a nurse or nannie come in like a Visiting Angel can be a challenge. Sometimes the patient doesn't like them or doesn't trust them and can get combative with strangers. It's all about concocting a story that the nannie is a nurse or doctor (most of them wear scrubs) and sent by the hospital. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't...and that can change from day-to-day. In dad's final months, he kept the house at 84+ degrees in the SUMMER. It was like walking into an oven but he was always cold. We finally ended up putting a little space heater in his room so the rest of us could even breathe. You and yours are in my prayers, Becky

  4. You are such a great daughter, and your Momma is blessed to have you. Everyday with her is a blessing. Praying for your daily strength & encouragement.

    1. People told me that when I was caring for my dear sweet mother and after she left this earth and it shocked me, I could have never make up for the care and love she gave me! 😊

  5. So glad you have your mother with you now! I wish I lived closer - I have experience with dementia in the elderly and have helped out with my friends' parents. I've always loved to talk with old people and since I'm not the caregiver, the repetitive nature of their expression doesn't get on my nerves. Maybe you have a friend that could do this for you? I will continue to pray for you and your family. Sending you both much love.

  6. I know it is difficult, taking care of a person that has dementia. My mom had it and was with us for 15 years. Her last few years is when her mind, was acting up. Mom would ask me things over and over again, requiring the same answers. But remember, Joy, this
    will not be going on forever. Like my mom, your mom will be called home to the Lord. Then you will miss those repeated questions.
    I know I do. Hugs to you and your mom...........Barb Bohr

  7. You are a angel and will be rewarded for all the love you are giving to her. I also like to watch MASH.....she would be my TV PAl, in my area it is broadcast on the MPBN (Maine Public Broadcasting Network), check with your Oklahoma Network. HUGS TO YOUR MOM.

  8. I am so glad your husband told me of your blog! Sometimes I think I'll never meet you! I'm your new neighbor down the road, Kathi. The minute I heard your name and my husband told me of you I was excited and had a Joy-filled check in my spirit! Reading your blog confirms that check! Can't wait to meet you, I k ow your hands are full!

    1. Hello Kathi!
      I don't know if you will see this or not. I am so glad you FOUND me, because I LOST your phone number. Well, actually, I threw it away. Jerry left the paper on the bar, and I kept wondering "WHO is "Kathi"". I finally decided we didn't know any Kathi's, and I tossed the note in the trash. A few days later it dawned on my lightning fast mind that it was you. I hate to show up unannounced at someone's front door, so I don't stop at your house.
      My email is: If you will email me your number, I will send you mine.
      Mother is hollering. Gotta run.
      Hugs, Joy


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Hugs, Joy