A Christmas Story

Jerry is on a tangent today.  His investments are doing really well right now, so he is wanting me to give him every dime I have stashed so he can add that to them.  I tend to go really extra-super-crazy when he does that.  I don't know what it is like at your house, but here, if I ever give him my spending money, I never see it again -- ever!  I have saved enough money for a face lift twice now, but the first time, I bought the Longarm Quilting Machine with it, and this time, I'm just holding on to it for "just in case".  It makes me feel safe to do that for some reason.  I agree that interest from the bank is diddly-squat, but still.  If I need that money, it is very easy to get in a flash.  Jerry never understands my urgent need for things like sewing machines and fabric.  I spent the first 20 years of our marriage asking him every time I wanted to spend a dollar even though I worked the entire time.

A long time ago -- in the "olden days" --  the Oil Company where I was the Manager of the Land Department, gave me a $400 Christmas bonus.  That was 25 years ago, and back then, that was like $4,000.  I was so excited.  It was a "Christmas" bonus, so obviously, it was Christmas time.  I decided I would buy a television for Jerry so he could watch it at night in our bedroom.  Back in those days, we had only one TV.  When he opened the gift on Christmas morning, he had a FIT! 

He wanted to know:

WHERE did I get that money!?
and
WHY ON EARTH did you make such a STUPID purchase with it!?

Oh yeah.  I was big time hurt.  I cried and cried, and I couldn't believe he was so ungrateful.  I decided that if I ever got extra money again, I was just going to hide it under my mattress.  Meanwhile, Jerry watched the TV every night!

Another year went by, and I got another Christmas bonus, only this time it was $2,000.  I DID NOT TELL JERRY about it.  Well, I always get real weird at Christmas because it is all about Jesus, you know, and I want to do the right thing even more than I usually do just to please Him.  So I remind myself that Jerry is the head of the house and of me, and I must submit to him as he submits to Christ -- and he does.  I decided to take the $2,000, which was all $100 bills, and I got a bunch of little jars and boxes.  I proceeded to wrap up about 8 little packages, all containing some amount of $100 bills in them, and all "From Joy - To Jerry".  Christmas morning came.  The kids were little then, and we were all opening presents.  I was so proud of myself for giving Jerry all that money, and I was ready for major applause, hugs, kisses, etc. 

Jerry starts opening his little gifts.  He unwraps one, and he takes out the $100 bill, and he kind of liked that.  Then he opened another one which may have had 2 or 3 bills in it.  He looks at the money, and he looks at me, and he gets a very worried look on his face.  He opens another and another, and he starts to simmer and then to boil.  He puts the jars down -- he puts the boxes down -- he gathers up the money (not even all opened yet), and he shakes it at me, and he says, "JOY, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!!!???"  "WHERE DID THIS MONEY COME FROM!!!!???"  "I WANT TO KNOW RIGHT NOW!!!!"  "IS THERE MONEY IN ALL THESE PACKAGES!!!????"

Well, as you can imagine, I was heartbroken.  He thought I had robbed a bank.  It never entered his mind that I could have come by the money honestly, I guess.  Back then, I still had a lot of estrogen in my body, and I was known to cry if someone just blinked twice.  I started crying -- and then sobbing -- and then I ran into my bedroom and threw myself on the bed.  (I did that a LOT in those days.)

Tammy and Jeree were playing with the money and wanting to know if they could have it since Dad didn't want it.  Jerry was sure I really had robbed a bank by then.  He came in the bedroom and he tried to comfort me, and he insisted I had to tell him where that money had come from.  I finally sobbed out that it was a Christmas bonus, and I wanted to give it all to him so he could invest it because he was mad at me for buying him a TV the year before.

Finally, he took a huge sigh of relief and did what he always did when I was in that state.  He picked me up off the bed like a sack of potatoes -- because I wasn't moving -- and he held me tight and apologized profusely.  I guess you can't blame him for his reaction.  I guarandamntee you, however, I NEVER, EVER did that again.  The next several years, I got $5,000 Christmas bonuses.  I came home from work and handed him the envelope, and that was that.  He was a very happy boy!  To this day, it is sitting in some investment account and still growing. 

So, AS I WAS SAYING, he came up here this morning wanting to know how much money I had saved and could he invest it.  I said NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!! 

He said, "Okay", and he went to work.  After all, Christmas is over, and I'm not feeling THAT holy right now.

Back to sewing.  Maybe I better get showered first though in case I need to make a video. 

Hugs, Joy