Friday, March 23, 2012

Spring has Sprung and I've Been Bad

What a GLORIOUS day!!!  It is 69 degrees outside and sunny with a cool breeze.  It is so pretty.  I had an eye appointment this morning at 11 am.  AS USUAL with Pearle Vision at the Mall , their guaranteed-to-have-your-glasses-in-one-hour-or-less machine was broken and it was going to take 4 1/2 hours for them to get my glasses ready. 

Have you bought eyeglasses lately!?  The eye exam and the buy-one-get-one-free special at Pearle Vision costs me $545.00.  I could have made a down payment on the place!

Since I hate wasting gas, and I had already spent a small fortune, I decided to just hang around the Mall while I waited for my glasses. But first, I met Phylly at noon for lunch, and we ate and talked for a little over an hour.

Then I HAD to think of something to do at the Mall.  Phylly suggested Barnes & Noble.  Great idea.  I didn't need a single thing, but ended up buying a Campbells Soup cookbook and a Beginner Photoshop magazine.  And I knew Phylly would need a book to read on Couture Sewing when she comes over, so I had to buy one of those.  All of that was $70.

I still had an hour and a half left until my glasses were done, so I went to JC Penneys to buy some of my favorite panties.  I don't know about your JCP, but ours is like a ghost town when it comes to finding a clerk.  It has always been that way.  I wandered into the Lingerie department and noticed one customer.  Then this OLD lady -- I'm talking 90 years old -- came walking through a side door into the bra department and told the one customer that they didn't have any of whatever it was.  The customer said that was fine and she left.  So I was the only customer.  I knew what bras and panties I wanted, so I just gathered them all up.  Then I searched all over the place for the granny-clerk.  Nowhere in site.  No register anywhere either.

I wandered over to the dishes department and asked a customer if they had seen a cash register anywhere.  The customer told me I had to go to the MEN'S department.  I told the customer there was no way I was going to the men's department with 2 bras and 12 pairs of panties hanging on my arm.  So I decided to go to the door I came in to see if there was a check-out counter.  Sure enough there was one there.  No customers.  The one cashier told me that they took all the other registers out.  I told her I never found a clerk to wait on me.  She said that was because she had just walked up there and turned in her badge and walked out!  I thought, OMG, surely she hadn't heard about me and ran the other way when she saw me coming!  My picture must be hanging on the wall behind that door she came through!!!
So since there weren't any customers around, I started up a conversation with this clerk.  She had on the prettiest necklace, and I asked her where she got it.  She said she got it at Steinmart.  Now, I hardly EVER buy jewelry, mainly because they don't sell it at fabric stores.  I thought her necklace was so pretty that I decided I needed to have a new necklace, and I couldn't go to Steinmart, so I went downstairs to the JCP jewelry department. 

I arrived at the deserted jewelry department, and I decided to look at something in the gold and silver glass cases.  I saw two people across the room talking to each other, and I wondered if they were clerks so I stared at them for a few seconds.  They saw me but kept on talking, so I decided they were customers.  I walked around and around and found some cute earrings I wanted to try on.  No clerks.  So I walked over to the two talking, and I asked if they had any idea where a clerk was.  They informed me that THEY were the clerks.  Well, how nice.  Did it ever dawn on either one of them that they are there to wait on customers!!!!  I asked why one of them didn't come over to help me.  What do you think they answered me??????????????

The girl said, "Because you didn't ask."  I think I will have a large button made up to pin onto my blouse when I shop that says, "I am a customer.  Please wait on me."

So the young girl came over to where I was and asked what I wanted to see.  She ended up helping me for the next hour, and she actually told me that I was a lot of fun and she loved waiting on me.  See there.  You thought she was going to hate waiting on me, didn't you?  Now, let's see.  How much did I spend there?  I bought the cute earrings I saw.  Then I decided later that I should have a necklace to go with them, and it just so happened there HAD been one there just this morning, but someone had bought it.  The girl ordered it for me from the catalog.  Then I decided I needed a necklace to wear tonight to go out to eat with Margaret because she is such a class act, so I bought a silver necklace.  No earrings because they didn't have any silver hoops.  Then I decided I needed to have another necklace, but I can't remember now what my excuse was for that.  The one that says "LOVE" has "HOPE" on the other side.  So cute!  The necklace I ordered from the catalog is a skinny little chain with a sparkle ball on it like the earrings.  An absurd price, but you gotta pay for "cute".

Just got back from dinner with my wonderful friend, Margaret.  I LOVE YOU, Margaret!  Don't forget about lunch on Monday with Phylly and I.  Neither one of us will be blue that day, for sure!  Got my jammies on already, and I'm going to go do something that requires sitting in my glider.  That is AFTER I fold the clothes and jump on my trampoline and make a cup of hot DECAF tea.  I feel so blessed to have such great friends!  AND, Margaret loved my "love" necklace.  I just talked to Jerry on the phone, and I told him I bought jewelry, and he didn't even care.  It may hit him later what I actually said.

Hugs, Joy


  1. ROFL!!!

    You're SO fun and funny .. almost splattered
    the keyboard with my wine.

    You could be solicited by a publisher to
    turn your blog posts into a book .. LOL
    And I guaran-dam-tee ya it would sell, it's
    so enjoyable and such a fun comic escape
    of laughs and your unique twist on every
    day life. You're a regular southern Lucy!

    Have a super weekend .. and now you've got
    new jewels to play with .. nice haul! :)

  2. "Southern Lucy" huh? Maybe I'll name my new dress form "Lucy"! Kinda cute. Thanks for your nice comment!
    Hugs, Joy


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Hugs, Joy