Friday, June 29, 2012

Scrub Brush, Porcupine, French Dart and New Videos for Donna

Fantastic Friday is here.  It is hotter than a pepper sprout around here, but the air conditioning is marvelous!  How pampered we are.  We watched a movie recently -- what was it???  It was about those poor tribes in Africa where that horrible Koby guy murders, rapes, tortures and burns whatever and whomever he pleases.  And the homes the people live in are only straw with dirt floors.  There are flies all over the babies' faces.  Compare that to our taken-for-granted lifestyles of luxury here in America. 

Oh, yes.  It was called something like Machine Gun Preacher -- or Preacher with a Machine Gun.  A true story.  You should watch it, but plan on plugging your ears at the beginning before the guy gets saved.  I HATE language like that, but they didn't curse things with God's name, so that was nice.  Aren't things bad enough already without cursing them with every other breath!  Some people really need to expand their vocabularies!                                                                                                                                

And what does THAT have to do with scrub brushes, porcupines and videos for Donna??? 

I'm going to get to that.

I am uploading the second video to Youtube right now.  I am afraid I waxed quite eloquent in that one and it got a bit lengthy.  I probably need my own 30-minute television program.  You can't say much in 10 minutes, you know?  I think my show could be on The History Channel right after those alligator people that don't have any teeth and who know only three sentences -- or that mountain guy who looks like he has never been introduced to a comb, toothbrush or razor. 

In the last show, the guy -- his name is Eustice -- had a cold, and he was actually dressed just like this guy as he took turns going into his sauna and then into the freezing water outside. 

Then he chewed up some roots of some plant and showed us his green teeth. 

Lovely!  Could be why I haven't seen anything resembling a girlfriend or wife in the program. 

My polka dot tops would be a lot cuter than that!  I could chew on some chocolate and show it all over my teeth -- or my blouse would be more accurate! 

JUST kidding, of course!

So, here's the thing.

Donna left a comment yesterday telling me that she has the Sure-fit Design system and is just learning to use it.  She said the necklines on my knit shirts looked nice, and she asked if I would tell her how I do them.

You know how I love to do tutorials.  Always wanted to be a teacher, you know -- well maybe you don't -- but it is true.  When I was growing up with my two sisters, I LOVED to play school or office or whatever job included having a lot of pens, pencils, crayons, paper, paper clips and such.  I was always the teacher or the boss and I always kept the supplies at my desk (an upside down apple crate).  I would loan them out to my students or employees, but I collected every one before the day was over.  When you are the oldest -- or the biggest -- you can do stuff like that.  I had a brother too, but he was 8 years younger, and he was into trucks and lawnmowers and such.

Unfortunately, you aren't allowed to be a teacher unless you go to college.  In our house, only boys went to college and the girls married boys who went to college.  Mother did insist -- and I'm SO GLAD -- that the girls learn how to type and take shorthand.  I took to both like a fish-to-water -- of course -- lots of pens and paper involved there -- so I began my career as a Secretary.  Very smart of my Mother.  I don't know how my one-year-younger sister, Janice, did at typing; but I do know that my three-year-younger sister, Judy, did HORRIBLE at it.  She told me that the teacher gave her a "D" because she felt sorry for her.  She was one of those super-cute children with long ringlets and weepy eyes.  Everyone adored her.  I was just ordinary with thin, fly-away hair and big teeth put together in an overbite.  Even when I finally got old enough to develop some boobs and look a little like a girl, one boy in the class tossed pennies down the front of my dress to watch them drop swiftly to the floor between my legs.  The boys found it quite hilarious.  Is it any WONDER I have such low self esteem!?  I never dreamt I would be doing Full Bust Alterations later in life.

One year -- fourth grade, I think -- my Mother got the bright idea to get me a permanent.  WHY ON EARTH she decided to get me just HALF a permanent, I never knew.

She permed only the top of my head and the sides and left the back straight.  There is something so wrong with that.  I was so skinny.  I looked like a scrubbrush!  If I had a picture, I would share it here.  I'm sure nobody thought my new do was picture-worthy!

Maybe it was because my parents couldn't afford to take us to a beauty shop.  Mom had a friend named Johnnie that taught Mom and Daddy that white flour and white sugar were horrible for you, and it probably is what caused Mom's vericose veins.  Johnnie also gave permanents.  What luck for me, huh?  Maybe it was cheaper if she just permed half a head, or maybe she didn't have enough curlers.  Maybe she had too much white sugar and white flour as a child, and she couldn't see I had hair on the BACK of my head too!

I am cackling as I just recalled that much later in life -- probably in my 30's -- Johnnie came to visit me with my Mother.  I have always cut my own hair, and Johnnie needed a haircut, so my Mother volunteered my services.  Well, Johnnie's hair was as course as wire and she had enough for the whole neighborhood.  I cut and cut and cut and cut.  I thought I would never get to the last strand.  She went in the bathroom to fix it, and when she came out, she looked like a porcupine!!!  She kept saying, "Thank you so much, Joy!"  "Thank you so much, Joy!"  "I just can't thank you enough, Joy!"

I looked at my Mom and my Mom looked at me, and it was all we could do to keep from falling over in laughter.  I guess she really liked it though or she didn't want to hurt my feelings.  She was a very nice lady and died many years ago.  I bet she is laughing in heaven right now. 

AND, I almost forgot, Carol requested more information on the french dart.  This is an AMAZING dart.  I will agree 100% with Peggy Sagers on french darts making you look slimmer and almost disappearing.  Hence, Carol is asking me where it is.  Here is a picture of the PAPER pattern with the ADJUSTMENT changing it from a regular bust dart to a french dart.

 And here is a picture showing you EXACTLY WHERE on this blouse the french dart is:

Alright, that's it for today.  I really do have two new videos all about how I finish the v-necklines in my knit tops per Donna's request.  I will put them over there on the right side of my blog under "Tutorials".  It may be tomorrow before you can view them, but no later than that.

Gotta go fix some leftovers for hubby.  I made goulash last night, and you know you can eat that for days after.  Add a salad and some bread and a different vegie than the night before. 

Hugs, Joy

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Hugs, Joy