Monday, August 26, 2013

The Battle Begins

I feel so sad that I can't be three places at once, especially, in Kingfisher at the Memory Unit where Jerry's Mom lives.  Because of construction and surgeries, I have been away for over 4 months.  It is shocking how things can digress in a place like that when the family suddenly stops appearing.

Yesterday was Mom's 93rd birthday, and Jerry and I and Jerry's brother, Don -- remember him -- the one who came to visit us for 3 days to get free of a terrible addiction to pain pills? --  went to Countrywood to have a birthday party for Mom.  The other brother -- still an addict, sadly -- did not even want to come.  That is a whole other story though.

The VERY, VERY HAPPY, WONDERFUL part was that Don is DRUG FREE and CIGARETTE FREE.  He was in an amazing mood, and for the first time, he came to Mom's house with us after the birthday party to work in the yard.  Weeds had to be pulled, bugs had to be killed, hedges had to be trimmed, tree limbs broken in a storm had to be picked up, etc.  It was such a great feeling to see him there -- totally sober -- laughing and working and talking about the new job he starts on Tuesday.

The sad part was the "room" -- if you could call it that -- that Mom's bed -- and ONLY her bed -- was in was just awful!  It was like they opened a storage closet and shoved her into it.  The room they put her in was being remodeled.  There was no cover on the AC vent leaving just a large hole in the wall.  The plug Mom's bed is next to doesn't even have a plate over it.  There are construction materials completely covering the cabinets.  There was not a single space for me to put her gifts and her flowers on.  I had to leave them on the floor.  The bedroom of the unit had a double bed belonging to another resident.

I guess I should say there was a heavy rain storm about six weeks ago that totally flooded the Memory Unit where she DID have -- and still pays for -- a very lovely room with her own furniture in it.  All the residents had to be moved out.  The thing is they moved only her bed.  Her recliner -- her 2 dressers -- her TV -- her table -- are all outside in a POD storage unit.  How INSANE!

Not only that, she looked AWFUL.  She was half-dressed in a way-too-small blouse.  Her hair was frightful.  She has a standing appointment at the in-house beauty salon every Tuesday.  Evidently, she hasn't been there for quite some time.  If she was in her right mind, she would be hysterical if she saw what her hair looked like yesterday -- and her clothes.  She was a VERY stylish dresser, and looked perfect at all times -- everything coordinating and matching.

ANYWAY, I have been in contact with the owner of this facility who also owns dozens of others all over the US from what I hear.  He has apologized profusely, and that was BEFORE he saw all the pictures I took and emailed to him last night.  I had emailed him weeks ago about her having to pay full rent when she was sharing a room with 2 other women.  At that time, that was all I knew.

He is going to call me himself today.

That will be my focus this week.  I will keep you posted.  Jerry's brother said he wished he had my backbone.  He said, "I have always let people walk all over me."  I told him that it was HIS fault if he allowed it.  That is one valuable skill I learned from my Mom.

Hugs, Joy

1 comment:

  1. I felt like it was a constant battle the whole time my mother was in the nursing home. I just wanted them to keep her clean and clothed, but that seemed to be impossible. Actually, what I wanted was for them to CARE about her so she would be cared for properly. I called and wrote letters and it would help for a short time and then it would go back to poor care. I spent weeks looking for a good nursing home and I thought the one she was in was the best I could find that was close to me.

    I hope you get better care for Nida.

    Hugs, Phylly


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Hugs, Joy