Sunday, January 25, 2015

Wanted: New Best Friend


I think I surely hold the World's Record for losing best friends.  Is it my fault?  Absolutely!  It is totally my fault.  I always commit the horrible, unforgivable sin of saying what I think.  Friends say a lot of things to me that I don't agree with, but I don't just DUMP THEM as though our friendship was nothing.  I realize that there are never, ever going to be two people on this Earth that agree on every subject.

Actually, I had a best friend when I met Jerry 40 years ago.  Her name was Judy.  We met at work.  We were together all the time.  I called her one night and asked her to be a witness for us because we were getting married.  She told me that she would NOT be in my wedding and she would no longer be my friend.  She said, "I can't stand it that you are going to be happy, and I am going to still be miserable."  I never saw or talked to her again.

I lost a best friend once because she thought I wanted her husband.  It was actually the other way around.  I was friend enough to her that I never told her the truth.

My husband and I have LOTS of disagreements.  We don't just throw each other away.  Also, if it is the kind of disagreement that one of us has to give on, then I know that it is ME who has to give.  The Bible says he is my head, and God is his head.  But if we can just disagree, and the world isn't going to come to an end because of it, then we just disagree.

I guess I better warn everyone not to ever be friends with me because I will say what I think about a subject even if it disagrees with what you think.  Do I always say what I think?  Oh, NOOOOOOOOOO!  I about bite my tongue off trying NOT to upset the apple cart.  But other times, things need to be said.

I have a friend named Mona who lives in Colorado.  She is one-of-a-kind, and if she was still a neighbor, I bet we would still be great friends.  You could say ANYTHING to Mona, and it just rolled off her.  She would come back with something just as snarkey (I think I just invented that word, lol).  I just told her the other day that she was a BRAT!  Her response:  "Yep, I haven't changed!"  I used to complain about the cat hair all over her house.  She told me, "QUIT wearing black jeans over here!"  She never said, "Well, just don't come over if you don't like the cat hair!"  I never, ever -- not even once -- saw Mona in a bad mood.  I could be crying and upset after a big fight with Jerry.  She would come over, and it was like having a tranquilizer walk in the room.  In that way, opposite personalities are good for each other.  Mona didn't have any children, so I couldn't screw up our friendship by trying to give "helpful hints" about her kids.

Jerry and I did watch church this morning.  I was so sad that I could hardly listen, however.  I kept hoping that some kind of miracle would happen, and all would be well again.  It didn't happen though.

I promised Terry I would make little girl dresses for the Missionaries in Nicaragua.  She sent me 12 tee shirts.  Jerry kept needing me to run errands with him, and I was thankful for the distraction for my sad heart so I went with him.

I got only 7 dresses done.  They take quite a bit of time with 4 pleats, cutting, sewing, serging and pressing.  Terry sent me pictures of headbands she is making to go with the dresses she has made.

Next thing I know, she will be making panties and socks to go with them!  I may never catch up!

Anyway, here is a picture of the 7 I finished.  I have 5 more to do.  I don't know when Terry will be getting more shirts, but it will probably be soon once they see how cute these are.

That is it for today.

Hoping you all have TRUE best friends and have a wonderful week!

Hugs, Joy


  1. Hi Joy,

    I felt very sad when I read your blog today. I sincerely hope that if your friend reads it too she may come to realise that there was no malice intended and that only a true friend will tell you the truth.

    Sadly I've been in a similar situation several times over the years, and I have often found that some friends, who have been completely honest with me, don't like me to reciprocate unless it's something they want to hear.

    I recently went on a cruise with an old school friend, whom I have known for over 40 years, we have never really spent more than a weekend together, but we both agreed we would respect each other's 'space' and would do our 'own thing' if we needed time on our own. In less that 24 hours I discovered why our friendship had lasted so long, it was because we hadn't spent much time together over the years. In short, I found her extremely demanding and very blunt to the point of being very rude to me and to other people, all this was stretching my patience to the limit, so I told her exactly what I thought of her behaviour. There were tears, she apologised but I still felt very bad about having to be so honest with her. Our friendship may never be the same, but at least I was honest with her and myself. If I hadn't said anything I would've been condoning her behaviour, plus I don't think I would have wanted to continue to be friends with her.

    I'm sure there'll be a cue of people waiting to be your new best friend.

    Kind regards,


  2. Hi Joy. I love reading your blog and watching your videos.Your bubbly personality and sense of humor is delightful.
    Praying your best friend wasn't Philly as you have been friends for a long time.
    Love how the dresses turned out.Some little girls are going to be so happy wearing them.
    Hugs Lyn

  3. It's sad to lose a friend, especially when you feel the friendship could be mended. However, I am convinced God sends certain people into our lives at certain times. Times change and so it makes sense that friends do too (albeit sad and painful). I know God will send another person into your life that is just right for you.

  4. Joy you have so many blessings..a loving husband,2 beautiful homes, financial security,family, pets and most important a relationship with the Lord. Some would simply say your friend is jealous but I think jealous means so much more than that..sometimes when you so want what the other person has its just too painful to be exposed to it so they take some minor disagreement and use it as a graceful way for their exit never thinking how much pain they leave husband does this all the time..have a different option & voice it to him and you are history.It makes for a very sad & lonely individual because God made us all different for a reason.I also hope Phylly wasn't the friend that walked away..notice I said walked away..hug..the other joy

  5. It's always sad to lose a friend. Give it some time. I make dresses for Africa similiar to what you are doing but a different pattern. They used to call them pillow case dresses. May I ask why the matching fabric on the inside of the bodice? Is that a lining? They are just beautiful. And I love your blog and all your classes. Thank you so much. I to hope your lost friend is not Phylly. Maybe someone needs to swallow some pride and just say I'm sorry. Who knows, might work.

  6. Man if only I lived closer.... I would LOVE a best friend like you. I love your humor! And you're interesting, love the same things I do, shopping and sewing... I would so volunteer :) There is one thing I don't do and that is drama. I hate drama, it is draining. When you move closer, call me! I recently got dethroned with my bff cause of her extended family moving in. Our friendship has not recovered. I know what the pain feels like when you lose your bestie. Hugs sweets!

  7. Man if only I lived closer.... I would LOVE a best friend like you. I love your humor! And you're interesting, love the same things I do, shopping and sewing... I would so volunteer :) There is one thing I don't do and that is drama. I hate drama, it is draining. When you move closer, call me! I recently got dethroned with my bff cause of her extended family moving in. Our friendship has not recovered. I know what the pain feels like when you lose your bestie. Hugs sweets!

  8. I hope this isn't a duplicate, the original post did not show up. I agree with AROMAGAL above, If I lived near you, I would love to e your friend. We all know how the end of a friendship hurts, sometimes we never find out. I've lost friends through the years and I truly miss all of them. I'm thankful that I have friends in my life, and hope they will always be friends. I also hate drama, it accomplishes nothing but aggravation.
    I love you blog, please do ever stop.

    Hugs, Carol Ann

  9. Please don't lose your best friend. She's valuable and precious to you. You can go back to where it was with humility, love, and forgiveness. Please call her and tell her how you feel. You mustn't count on her seeing your words here to express yourself. Please do it in person from your kind heart.

  10. 3 weeks ago I lost my best friend of 65 years to MDS, a bone marrow disease. Although we lived hundreds of miles apart, we talked by phone for hours each week and met every few years in Iowa where we grew up. I am feeling lost and wandering in the wilderness right now until I can work through this. My friends could be snarkey too and ridicule me sometimes, as well. I chalked it up to her disease and let it go knowing that I needed her in my life more than I needed to be offended (which I was). I just want to pick up the phone and call her but I can't. I saw her in August at our 50 year high school reunion never imagining that it would be the last time we would be together. I lost another childhood best friend in October 2013 and I know I can never replace long time friends like these - ever. Lynn


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Hugs, Joy