Friday, April 28, 2017

My Climbing Mother

Hello Everyone!

I wanted to do a new video today, but something happened that made me sad, and I couldn't get the mood back again.

And you KNOW my lightning fast mind.  I just now realized that if I type what I want to say, you can't tell my face is sad today -- except that I always tell you everything anyway!

I'd love to join this little lady in her pity party, but I don't want to WEAR the wine tomorrow.

And besides that, ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD TO THOSE THAT LOVE THE LORD, so it is just a matter of time before my face fits my name again.

I heard the BEST sermon by Joel Osteen last week.  It was about NOT GIVING YOUR JOY AWAY.  Soooooo good!

I really love the way that man thinks.  He said it is bad enough that someone hurts you, or you get stuck in a traffic jam, or you get fired, or, or, or --  but don't give them your joy too.  The Bible says the JOY OF THE LORD IS OUR STRENGTH.  Give me a second, and I'll tell you where it is in the Bible.  (Nehemiah 8:10)  Right now, more than ever, I need all the STRENGTH I can muster.

For my friends that have experience with the elderly and dementia, I would love to hear your opinion on the following issue I am having with my Mom.

My Mom has lived alone for the past 20 years in a double-wide trailer on a little lake about 3 hours away from where we live.  She had white pull-down shades on all of her windows.  Every evening she would go through her whole house and pull all of those blinds completely down.  She would check all the doors and make sure they were locked.

Mom now lives in our house, as you know.  Most of my windows have mini blinds in them, but there is one window over my sink in the kitchen that has an accordion blind that pulls up and down with one long cord.  Hold on.  A picture is worth a thousand words.

In the following pic, NOTICE THE LONG CORD laying inside the windowsill.  Notice the shade is pulled all the way up to the top of the window.
The next picture shows the bar stool she drags over to the sink to CLIMB UP ON!
Notice the faucet.
This last picture shows the blind when it is properly closed.
NOTICE the faucet.
Mom grabs onto the faucet to hold herself, and -- of course -- it pulls out of the fixture, and she falls.
Mom has hurt her leg twice doing this.  There was a large bump and bruise on the front of her lower leg both times.  The last one is still healing.

Today, instead of pulling that bar stool over to the sink, she pulled one of the kitchen table chairs over to the sink.  HOW ON EARTH she even did that is a wonder as she uses a walker or cane at all times, and she drops things all the time.

When I went downstairs to fix dinner, I noticed right away that the faucet was hanging down like that, and the blind was crooked and only 3/4 of the way down, and the vases were moved in the wrong place.  I didn't say anything right then because I had just left her room, and she was fine.  I dreaded the confrontation.

Later, when we were eating dinner, Mom told me she had moved the chair over to the sink and fixed the blinds.  I said, "OH, MOM!  You didn't climb up on that chair, did you?"  She said she did.

So, of course, I had to have a long talk with her about it.

At first, she was combative, and she had the saddest look on her face.  Just like a child in trouble!

Later, after our long talk, she finally agreed that I was right.  She said, "Something told me not to do it, but I did it anyway."   She told me over and over that she was very sorry.

The thing is.  SHE FORGETS!  What about tomorrow -- and the next day -- and the next day.  I don't want to put gates up between the rooms and lock her out of them.

I don't want to lock her in her room.

I pray God assigns extra angels to my Mom to protect her from her broken brain.

Other than that, all is well.  Jerry has been gone all week, but will be back tomorrow afternoon.  He hardly ever goes upstairs, so he usually notices when Mom goes on one of her "walks" to close blinds and doors.  It really helps to have an extra set of eyes and ears on her.

Trust all is well where you are tonight.  I'll be back soon with our Mother/Daughter blouses.

Hugs, Joy

Sunday, April 23, 2017

The Problem with Communication is Words!

Yes!

It is SO TRUE.

The problem with communcation is words.

I beg whoever is reading this post to please listen to John Hagee's sermon "Conscience and Communication" from this morning 4-23-17.  It is one of the VERY BEST sermons I have ever heard, and as he said in the introduction, I will NEVER forget it!

He talks about how Satan spoke to Jesus using scripture, BUT he twisted it to have a different meaning that it was meant to.

Satan does this between friends and between husbands and wives all the time.

Something is said, but the person spoken to HEARS it differently than it was intended, and the war begins!


Friendships are shattered.

Marriages are over.

Please listen to the sermon.  I promise, you will laugh out loud, but also learn so much.

At the end, Hagee talked about the POWER OF PRAISE.  "Praise is a weapon of supernatural warfare!"  If our nation ever needed supernatural intervention from God, IT IS NOW!

Just go to GETV.org and look in the archives for the sermon.  OR, if it is still Sunday morning on 4-23-17, you can go to the next service at 11:00 AM CST.

Now, if someone will REMIND me that my Mom doesn't know what she is doing or saying at times, I MIGHT get over her attack this morning and go help her dress.

I woke Mom up an hour before church today so we all could eat breakfast and then be lined up on the front row upstairs in front of the big screen when church started at 8:30.  It is a live service, and it always starts with singing.  I love the music at Cornerstone Church, and I know the words, so I always sing out loud.  Jerry does sometimes, but not very loud.  I do everything loud!

Anyway, Mom slept through most of the music.

She woke up about the time the sermon started.  She loves John Hagee.  Anyway, John started out by telling some funny stories/jokes at the beginning.  I was cracking up laughing at him, as was the audience.

Mother looked over at me from her recliner to mine and SNARLED:  "Will you PLEASE shut up that cackling!  I can't hear what he is saying!"

I hadn't heard the sermon yet -- that is my excuse -- and I looked over at her and told her to quit being a witch.  She snarled something else at me, but I just ignored her, and I have been ignoring her ever since.

The best way for me to get her OUT of that personality is to stop doing things for her.  She realizes SOMETHING is wrong and asks me about it.  THEN I can explain, and she always apologizes.

The thing is, when Mom watches MASH or sermons, she doesn't GET the humor.  She gets mad if Jerry or I laugh when MASH is on.  She tells us it is about soldiers, and we should not be laughing.  Jerry tells her it is a comedy, and she just looks at him like he is nuts.  Hence the attack during the sermon this morning.  She didn't like me laughing at it.

I guess I'll go downstairs and be "the spiritual one".  (Listen to the sermon.  (-; )

I'm going to start a new quilt.  Stay tuned for updates.

God bless you all and may your Spirits get fat!  (Listen to the sermon. (-: )

Hugs, Joy




Wednesday, April 12, 2017

It's a Wonderful Life!

Hello Everybody!

This has been a happy and crazy day with a very frustrating end!

It is such a hassle when you have to buy new stuff, don't you think.  In this instance, it is two TV's. Seems harmless enough, but wait!

JUST because the TV you buy your Mom is new doesn't mean it is going to have a good picture, and the people aren't going to have yellow hair and green bodies.  Good Heavens!  My mother's brain is mixed up enough already!

JUST because you find out that your own big screen TV is suddenly broken and doesn't work and is considered a dinosaur doesn't mean you can just go buy another one and a cabinet to place it on.

Well, you can BUY the cabinet, but you can't expect someone to deliver it to you, unless, of course, the young lady behind the check out counter really does know someone who knows someone who MIGHT be able to deliver the cabinet to you -- IF you call her FIVE times the next day to see if she found said person.

JUST because two hulks show up at the door to deliver the new big screen TV, doesn't mean that when they carry out your old TV that they won't drop it on your front porch and break one of the bricks in half leaving a sharp cutting edge sticking out and half the brick lying on the ground.

And JUST because you call the store where you bought it and tell Customer Service that your front porch is now broken and you want it fixed that the person is REALLY going to tell the Manager and he/she will call you back.

UGH!!!

That has been our yesterday and today except for Jerry going to the knee doctor who told him it takes six to eight weeks to recover from the surgery, and I guess his knee still hurts like crazy because it has been only six weeks.  I went to my heart doctor to find out I have a leaky valve and it beats too fast at times, and I am not to take decongestants even though my nose is running like a sieve at this very moment, and, OF COURSE, I am not to drink caffeine.

Other than that, all is perfectly wonderful in my life.

Seriously!  How many millions would not LOVE to have my little inconveniences.

I did have a lovely lunch with Phylly today.  She took a long lunch so she could follow me to JoAnn's Fabrics after lunch.  Both of us were VERY disappointed at the poorly lit, disorganized, jumbled up "mess" of fabric at the JoAnn's, so we went to Hobby Lobby across the street.  It was well lit and the fabric was cheerful and Spring-like, and I found three pieces I could not resist.  Phylly found only one.  We actually both realized we didn't have anyplace to PUT the fabric we were buying, but we didn't care!

My daughter came over this morning and took my Mother home to her house so her Dad and I could go to the doctor today.  I think they left here about 10:00 this morning.

Jerry and I arrived at my daughter's house about 5:30 tonight to pick Mom up.  She already had on her coat and her hat and was standing at the door!  She had been pointing to her watch and asking Tammy WHEN we were coming to get her since 3:00.  Tammy was VERY READY to let her Grandma leave.

My Mom thought Jerry was going to stay at Tammy's, and only she was going to come home with me.  Then when I was seat buckling her into the back seat of my car, I gave her a hug.  She said, "When will I be seeing you again?"  LOL.  I told her in about one second when I got in the front seat.  Sad but so funny.

Better get this head in bed.

Trust all of you are having a wonderful life and a wonderful week.

Hugs, Joy












Friday, April 7, 2017

A Quick Hello and VLOG

My goodness!

My life has changed so much, I barely have time to BLOG these days.  I'm trying to build a new wardrobe for Mom so she will have nice things to wear that are not 20 years old and way too big. Mom quit shopping for clothes many years ago.  She weighs only 117 pounds, so she is little.  She used to be a Size 14 in pants and wore Large tops.  Hence, those are the sizes she still has in her closet.

For those who don't know, my Mom who has Dementia moved in with us on January 1st.  She has done really well most of the time.  Last night and today she seemed much more confused than usual.  I am praying it is a temporary setback.  I hate to see her decline.  It will be hard.

Last night, she got out of bed about 10:30, came down the dark hallway into the kitchen, and she opened the freezer drawer.  By that time I had jumped out of bed and joined her and asked her what she was doing.  She said she had not had any dinner and she needed to make some.

My Mom does NOT cook at all.  It would not be safe!  I do all the cooking.  I had cooked a nice dinner, and she had eaten well, including her Butter Pecan ice cream topped with Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream for dessert.
I explained all that to her and walked her back to her bedroom.

A little while ago Jerry and I were sitting on our bed watching a basketball game.  Mom came into our room as she often does in the evenings.  I asked her what she needed and motioned for her to come sit next to me on the bed.  She told me she was VERY worried!  She said she had looked and looked, and she could not find her Visa card.

I asked her why she needed her Visa card.

She said that she was going to be leaving tomorrow to get her hair done, and she was going to have to have that Visa card to pay the girl.

I explained to her all about how the girl comes HERE to WASH her hair -- not perm it, and that I would take her soon to get a permanent, but I would pay for it.  I told her she didn't need to ever worry about money again.  She asked about her house and WHO was going to clean it up.  I pointed to myself.

She looked at me and said, "So you are going to take care of everything?"

I said, "Yes, Mom, you don't have to worry about anything anymore."

She gave me a huge hug and said she was going to her room.

I asked her if she remembered where her room was.  She said, "Yes, it is right next to yours."

Her room is down the hall at the other end of the house.  Sooooooooooooooo sad.  Breaks my heart.

That is my life now.  Caring for my Mom.  We have a wonderful new lady to help us, so I now have two.  The new lady is a Nurse, and unlike the first lady, she can stay full days for me.  That means I can go to work once or twice a week.  I really need to be there too.  Jerry is home still recovering from knee surgery, so he hasn't been going to work.

Gotta go check on Mom.  I go in several times before bedtime.

Here's my latest VLOG if you haven't already seen it.



Be back when I have something to show you.

Hugs, Joy


Friday, March 24, 2017

VLOG and Update on Mom

Hey Everyone!!!

We have RAIN today!  We are so happy to have it.  Ponds are low.  Lake is low.

I have a new video with my Mom in it if you haven't already seen it.

Here she is posing for me in that new blouse.  She LOVES to be center of attention.  Always has.



Making her new pants now.  Just finished the first pair.  Going to try to make three at a time -- assembly line fashion.  We shall see!

Be back when I can.

Hugs, Joy

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Fabric HEAVEN and Mom and Terry and Stuff

Wow!

Have I been gone for three weeks?  Time goes by so fast these days.  My Mom takes a lot of my attention.  I have time to myself, but not long times.  It takes a lot of time to do a BLOG.

I did get a video done the other day after my wonderful overnight trip with Terry.  We have the best time together.  She is the BEST co-pilot.  Jerry always has a fit if I try to direct him when he is driving.  I think it is a great luxury to have someone guiding you!

Here is the latest video if you missed it:

I just told you in that video that I would show you what I bought, so here goes.

At the little old downtown shop called Happiness is Quilting, I found several panels to make little quilts for the children at Casa House, but I only had time to choose two of them.

This for a boy:
This for a girl:
And this one for me, of course.  It is so fun!
Look at the darling three fabrics I got to go with it.

And I bought some fabrics to make blouses.  My Mother LOVES violets, so I bought some violet fabric for her.  I made the blouse today, but it turned out too snug for her.  It is so hard to peel all the layers off her to try anything on that I just went by measurements.  She is always so cold.

Here are four wovens purchased at several different places.
Two for Mom, and two for me:

And, from JoAnn's, some more knits.
Two for Mom and two for me.
AND, the BEST part of our trip,
our TEXAS-shaped waffles from the Hampton Inn.
I really love waffles, but I don't dare make them here at home because I would BE as big as Texas!  I always have one when staying at a hotel since I only stay in one maybe once a year.

Need to check on Mom.  I think she found the controller and messed up the TV.

Be back as soon as I can to show you Mom's new tops and another video.

Hugs,
Joy

Saturday, February 18, 2017

For Such a Time as This

Hi everyone!  Can you believe I'm back already?

After today, I am convinced that I am the ONLY person on this planet that can properly take care of my Mom.  I have the ability to know what she wants and how she wants it, even when she doesn't even know -- OR, she doesn't know how to say it.  And I am speaking about current events.  God only knows what is to come.

I know what she is TRYING to say when she is saying something so crazy, Jerry (my DH) can't start to figure it out.  He gets very frustrated with her.  And, OF COURSE, I know that no man "gets" a woman, but this is different.

I'll give you a few instances:

This afternoon, Mom sat down at the kitchen table while I was doing dishes or laundry or something.  I heard her fiddling with things on the table and saying, "I've got to find the salt.  Where could it be?  Joy, I NEED to find the salt."

We weren't eating.  She didn't have anything to put the salt on.

I realized when I looked at the table that she had arranged the pepper, the toothpicks and two little wooden angels on top of a trivet in the center of the table, and she wanted the salt shaker to be there too to complete the arrangement.  I walked over and picked up the salt shaker which was on her blind side at the end of the table and handed it to her.

She said, "Oh, thank goodness!  I had to get this arranged right, and I couldn't find the salt."

Jerry NEVER would have understood that.  He would have told her she didn't NEED the salt, and he would have just ignored her.

Then there was tonight.

She was having a pretty bad dose of Sundowner's.  Her mind was off on a dozen tangents.  For some reason, she kept going into the wrong bedroom even though she was already in her bedroom.  I was in my bedroom and couldn't see that she kept leaving her room and going into the one across the hall.  Jerry could hear her from his office.  Jerry went out and closed the door to the WRONG bedroom and told her to go to her OWN room.

In a few minutes, she would come back out of her room and go to the closed door -- open it -- go in and start rearranging things.  Jerry saw her and went back again to return the items she had removed from it and close the door again.  He told her again to PLEASE go to her own room and watch TV.

In a little bit, Mom was out of her room again and going through the closet in the WRONG room. Again Jerry went out to the hall to find out what Mom was doing, and I heard the commotion. I was afraid Jerry was going to strangle her!

I had received a phone call from my friend, Deb, and I was in my room talking to her.  That is why I didn't hear Jerry and Mom having room wars at the other end of the long hallway.  As soon as I hung up, I hurried down the hall to rescue my Mother.  She was TRYING to tell Jerry that she needed "her jacket".  She had taken a garment out of the WRONG room closet, and she was complaining that it wasn't the right one.  Jerry was telling her it wasn't even a jacket, it was a top.  Mother -- being extremely soft spoken and patient -- was trying so hard to explain that she needed her jacket.

I shooed Jerry off to his office which is where he needed to be as he was trying to finish some very important paperwork.  I took Mom buy the arm and led her back into her room.  I knew EXACTLY what she wanted.  She has this little white bed jacket.  It is fuzzy and warm.  She folds it a certain way, and she puts it around her ears and her head every night in her bed.  It had disappeared, and she could not find it in her room.  Hence, she kept going in the other room to look for it.

Mom was saying she just had to have her jacket, and she was very worried it was lost.  I assured her I would find it.  I figured it must be under the covers or under the bed, and that is where it was.  It had fallen behind the headboard which is brass bars.  I reached down through the bars and onto the floor and picked it up.  She was DElighted!!!

I made sure TBN was on and was the right volume and that she had the controller in her hand.  Yes! She actually has learned to push the "off" button when she is done watching TBN.  At least, she could do it last night after 30 minutes of lessons from Jerry.   I gave her a hug and told her I would be back to check on her, AND I closed the door to HER bedroom.  When her door is closed, for some reason, she stays inside it.  Jerry was closing the wrong door.

Poor Jerry.  I try to explain this stuff to him, but he just thinks it is crazy.  He thinks she should KNOW where her OWN room is!  He is much more patient when he isn't tired and in pain from his knee injury, of course.  I get really cranky too at times.  This assignment takes a LOT of patience!

I go check on her every 30 minutes until she goes to sleep, and I'm headed there now.

Be back soon.

Hugs, Joy