I spent most of today in Kingfisher going through Mom's clothes.Some of the people there are permanently stuck in "lazy" gear. I could go on for days about what they SHOULD do, but DON'T. I won't though.
I will tell you instead about the very NICEST lady of all I ever met there. Her name, if I remember right, is Latisha. She was passing drugs out tonight, so she must be a nurse. It was dinner time rush and she was super-busy but she was very aware of my plight and very concerned about Mom (Jerry's Mom).
I had asked this morning that James -- the maintenance man -- please move Mom's armoire into her temporary room which had plenty of room for it, even though I was told by the Administrator it didn't have room. I took a huge trash bag full of her clothes -- yep, that's what they had the in -- and I went to her not-sold-yet house to sort through them. The garbage bag held mostly sweaters and jackets and odd shoes including two pair of torn, worn out shoes. WHY would they save those????
I called over to Countrywood and inquired again -- after about 10 times already -- about the location of her blouses and her pants. They did not know. Maybe Norma knows. Maybe Melinda knows. Maybe James knows. Maybe they are in the laundry. Maybe they are in the POD outside in the parking lot. I'm not kidding. It's a wonder I didn't blow my top. I don't do that though for one very good reason. I don't want Mom mistreated because the help there is mad at me. I finally talked to Melinda on the phone. She didn't know FOR SURE where Mom's clothes all were at, but she was going to find out. FINALLY! Someone who didn't mine putting some effort into it. I told her I was coming back during dinner tonight -- the ONLY time I can get in Mom's room without her seeing me -- and I was going to put all of Mom's clothes in her armoire.
I arrived. For the second time today, I went to find the Administrator/Manager or whatever she is. She was mysteriously missing again. I don't think I'm ever going to meet her because she has no intention of allowing it to happen. Why don't people realize that a customer can BRAG about them to the boss just the same as they can complain?
I then went into Mom's room and opened her armoire to put the clothes inside. GUESS WHAT HAPPENED???
Packages of adult diapers started falling out of it. There were boxes of gloves and wipes and other things packed in every square inch of the armoire. I could NOT believe my eyes. I squealed and Latisha came running in. She apologized profusely. THAT was refreshing! She hollered at someone to get a cart. The cart came. She unloaded every single item herself onto the cart, and out the door it went. I sure hope that whoever those adult diapers belong to finds them again.
I then brought in all the special little coat hangers that Mom spent years crocheting covers for so they would hold her slacks with non-slip grip, and she had hundreds of pairs of them. The pants were all on them to start with, but the laundry sends them back on wire hangers, and the nice little hangers disappear. I put Mom's initials on a whole bunch of them today, and I put all her slacks back on them as well as a note on the door as to the proper use of them.
For those of you who haven't followed me through Mom's dementia years, she was a major pack rat. A very neat pack rat, but still a pack rat. She built extra closets in her bedrooms for all her shoes and all her clothes. She literally had hundreds of slacks, blouses and shoes. The slacks were all hung next to each other so matching colors were side by side. Same with the blouses all hung up above the slacks. I was sure they would last her forever, but alas, she has gained weight around the middle and cannot wear Size 8 blouses or Size 10 pants. And it's a sure thing I can't wear them even with my DESM diet! They have all been donated now, and I have bought her new clothes. That is one reason I've been concerned about her clothes disappearing faster than a rabbit in a hat!.
I also brought some more shoes that I saved out of the hundreds of pairs she had. She will be so pleased to find those in her armoire. Actually, she will be so pleased to see she has any furniture at all in that room!
So that was my day. I am back home now wondering what I shall do tomorrow. Sew, I guess. Maybe have lunch with Phylly again. For now, I better close all the blinds and get in my jammies. It has suddenly gotten very dark outside.
Hugs, Joy
WHEW...you did a lot in such a short period of time.
ReplyDeleteYour MIL is so fortunate to have you as as a caregiver and DIL...
I remember trying to find my my mothers laundry at the facility she was rehabilitating at. It is amazing how disorganized these places are! I would bring her laundry home so that she would have tops and bottoms that were hers and that matched! and weren't bleached to death!!
My mom was 97, sharp as a tack, but suffered a broken leg, and after surgery and a few days in the hospital, was sent to "this place" and never recovered...had a stroke and passed away a year ago.....I wanted to bring her to my home, but she wouldn't have it...as it would mean another caregiver to help me, because she needed help to get out of bed, it would take two people to accomplish that ...she is my inspiration to this day..quite a trouper! and so are you!
I already replied to you, Enid, but the reply seems to have jumped out of Blogger and into Outer Space! AARRGGHH!
DeleteWhat I said was:
Mom admitted HERSELF into Countrywood 4 years ago. She told us over and over that she did NOT want to be moved out of Kingfisher where she had lived for over 30 years. That is why she is so far away from us. Her choice -- not ours. Her home still hasn't sold, so we also have to take care of it. I've hired people to mow -- someone else to fertilize -- someone else to cut down dead trees, etc. Will be so glad when the house finally sells. It is 2 BR and 1 Car Garage, and that isn't what most buyers want.
Hugs, Joy
I sympathize with you, Joy. My mother had alzheimer's and was in an alzheimer's unit in a nursing home. She went in with nice clothes that had her name in them and finished with a hodgepodge of mismatched grungy ones. I don't know if it's the laundry or the staff or what, but my mother, who was a fastidious lady before alzheimer's, looked like a bag lady. You are to be commended for keeping up with your MIL. A lot of families just dump their "loved one" in a home and never know what happens to them.
ReplyDeleteMartha
I hear that a lot, Martha. It is sad that the caregivers in those places don't seem to realize that they, too, may be in that position someday, and you REAP WHAT YOU SOW! And, of course, so many have no training or experience. Those places will hire anyone.
DeleteThanks for your comment.
Hugs, Joy