Here she is with "her FAVORITE red head", Terry, after receiving the quilt Terry made just for her. We sent it with Mom today to be buried with her. She loved it so much!
I have been in agony for days that my siblings seemed to have no desire to come see her. I had prayed for the hugest miracle of all time, and God did not let me down. Two of my siblings showed up just hours before she passed, and my other sibling talked to her as I held my phone up to my mom's ear.
I am so sad to tell you that my mom fell this past Monday at the place I had moved her to, and her hip was broken. She had also fallen another time and had a cut on her elbow. I immediately went there, and I stayed with her all night to see why on earth my mom kept falling.
It didn't take long to see that the night time help was HORRIBLE. I felt like I had majorly failed her. I moved my mom back home to my house the next morning via ambulance. I decided that what I had here for her was best after all.
So many things to share with you, but I am exhausted. I'll try to get back soon.
Hugs, Joy
Hugs to you and your family. We will all miss your Mum out here in internet land too.
ReplyDeleteBe kind to yourself
I am so very sorry for you. I know you have done an excellent job taking care of your mother and please do not feel guilty because you thought you were doing the right thing. You can never know how these places are until it is to late. We had the same problem with my mother-in-law, but we can not change the past or the decision we made. You loved and took great care of her and that is all that matters.
ReplyDeleteBelva
Deer Park, TX
Dear Joy, I'm so sorry to hear of your Mom's passing. God bless you for the wonderful care that you gave her. I'm sure you extended her life with your good care. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Pam Bulmann/Oregon
ReplyDeletePraying for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteTeresa
Joy you did not fail your mom in any way what so ever! She could have taken a fall anywhere. My mother in law never had any trouble walking and after we had to move her to the retirement home she had to be taken to the hospital for a urinary tract infection and while in the hospital fell and broke her back. They are so fragile at that age. I am just picturing the reunion between your mom and her mother, what a smile the thought brings to my face. So glad your prayers were answered and your siblings got the chance to see and talk with her for her sake and theirs. I was thinking how God works in ways we don't even realize and thought of all the time you have spent in these last few years making so many nice memories with your mom and all the videos you made will be cherished for the years down the road. My deepest condolences to you and your family. Hugs, Sheri Horbachewski
ReplyDeleteJoy, You are in my prayers, know that your Mom is walking in Glory and that you WILL see her one day. You were a good & faithful daughter. I know your heart is breaking, take time for yourself & remember the good times with your MoM.
ReplyDeleteJoy, I know it can be difficult but please don't ever feel like you've failed your Mom. She would want you to be at peace just as she is finally at peace. Many virtual hugs.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss. Remember the happy times-they will bring comfort.
ReplyDeleteJoy, So sorry to read your mother has died. You've been an amazing daughter and should have no regrets whatsoever. Thinking of you. Susan
ReplyDeleteHugs to you my internet friend. So sorry to hear about your loss.
ReplyDeleteDear Joy, Please do not go on that guilt trip, this is not your fault. I am so very sorry you have lost your Mother and will be praying for you. Barb in Arlington
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. You were. A great daughter.we. all love you dear
ReplyDeleteDear Sweet Joy, stop listening to the deceiver. Your heart is clean before your God. You cared for your mother like no one else could have. You respected her. You were her advocate. You honored her. You brought joy and peace to her life. You were the Proverbs 31 daughter to your mother. Blessing to you and your sweet Jerry in the days to come. Pam
ReplyDeleteDear Joy,
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry to hear that your Mom passed away. You did all you could to take care of her and bring her happiness. I loved watching the videos and seeing the smile that you brought to her face. You are a wonderful daughter. May God Bless you and Jerry and bring you peace. JoAnne
So sorry for your loss. As many have said, you have nothing to feel guilty about. God decided it was time for her to go home. May you be comforted by the fact that you gave her such great love & care the last year or so of her life.
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry Joy and Jerry for your loss. May God bring you peace and comfort. She was so lucky to have you in the final months of her life. ((hugs)) Becky Thompson
ReplyDeleteYou were a faithful daughter, Joy. You took care of our Mom to the best of your ability. Of course, I am sorry to learn that she's left us, but just trust that you lived up to the 4th Commandment - Honor thy father and mother - and that you did, and then some. You have a sweet angel in heaven...makes me think....are her wings purple?
ReplyDeleteOur prayers are with you, Joy and Jerry. As these difficult next months pass, just keep in mind the many fond memories of your Mom. I lost my 95 year old Mom 13 months ago - she had also fallen in the nursing home and broke a hip, but I wasn't fortunate enough to bring her to my home. I have enjoyed "meeting" your Mom via your stories, so I also feel a loss.
ReplyDeleteOh I am so sorry for your loss. Just know that you did everything you could do for her to make her life better. I hope you take this time to recover yourself, and think of all the good times you did have with her. We both know she is in a better place now and no more confusion or suffering. I'm glad to hear the siblings finally wised up and came to see her in the end, for their sake. Prayers to you and your family for peace and comfort. Hugggggs from West Virgina
ReplyDeleteJoy, I'm so sorry to hear of your mom's passing, but she no doubt she is in a place of no pain or sorrow. What a difficult time of loss for you and your family. I know how difficult it is to place a loved one in a home as had to do so for my mother as well with early dementia. So glad that you were able to spend those last precious moments with her at home.
ReplyDeleteHi Joy - I feel like I know you by watching your videos. You were such a good, dutiful daughter. No need to feel any less about yourself. Who should feel bad would be your siblings. I don't know how they can live with themselves. I lost my mother last year and before that, my brother did not talk to her for a year. You are a religious person, so I know you are familiar with John 5:28, 29. That scripture gave me so much comfort that I can actually see my mother again, right here on the earth. You and your husband were excellent caretakers and God will not forget that.
ReplyDeleteOh, Joy, my heart breaks for you. You were such a very loving daughter to your sweet mom. She loved you dearly. She will live on in your heart, because love never dies. It is so good to know that you have the hope of seeing her again, and that you too will get to meet your grandmother. Take good care of your self. (((Hugs))) Linda
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss, Joy. Praying for you...
ReplyDeleteDearest Joy, so saddened to hear of your precious mom's passing. Thank-you for sharing her with us...she modelled your tops with pride and joy...she appreciated and loved her 90th birthday cards send from internet friends...and playing the piano "Jesus Jesus Jesus, sweetest name I know." She absolutely touched my heart with loving kindness!! Please be assured of my thoughts and prayers for you and your family in the days ahead. Hugs my quilting friend!! Connie Quinlan, Newfoundland Canada
ReplyDeleteJoy, so sorry to hear of your Mother's passing. We've enjoyed getting to know her, and will all miss the stories of your life with her these last few months. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you.
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you, dear Joy. But so happy your sweet mom is with Jesus now and you will be reunited one day!!! I'm praying God will hold you in His arms and that you feel His presence and love in this time. All of your videos, and especially the ones where you speak of your sweet momma and love the ones where she joins you...they have always touched my heart! You absolutely did everything you possibly could for your mom and with a heart full of love. I admire you so much lady!! Thank you so very much for sharing your precious mom with us, and sharing you with us...I love you like a sister in Christ and am praying for you and your family. Hugs, Rhealene
ReplyDeleteDear dear Joy, this reminds me of you: "The devil whispered in my ear, "You are not strong enough to withstand the storm." Today I whispered in the devil's ear, "I am a child of God, a woman of faith, a warrior of Christ. I am the storm."
ReplyDeleteAlso, when you ask, beg, scream "WHY?", find comfort that this is why: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_lrrq_opng
Love and healing,
Jen
Joy, So sorry to read your mother has died.
ReplyDeleteDear Joy, Jerry, Tammy and family. My condolences on the passing of your darling mom. You were given the "opportunity" to make so many memories over the past few years which at times were wonderful, happy, sad, funny, joyful and at times exasperating. Your door and heart was always open and inclusive to family as you provided that final gift of having her other children see and speak to her in her final hours. How great was that! You did such a good job of celebrating her life. So many of your prayers were answered. What a gift to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteCheers. JoAn
Joy: So sorry to hear that your Mom has passed but she is now in a better place and in no more pain and her mind and spirit are fully restored.
DeleteYou were a wonderful daughter to her and can feel good about you and Jerry giving her a wonderful home for the remainder of her life.
JOY, the first time I heard your name I just knew you'd be a great neighbor and friend!! I have been there and know the struggle between happiness, sadness and yes, guilt. You were her angel and did everything you could and more to make her happy! She was a hoot for sure and an endearing lady!! When you need a hug I'm here, when you need to cry I'm here, when you need to laugh, I'm here. You are a true servant to the Lord and I'm blessed to have you as a neighbor xoxo in Christ's everlasting love, Kathi
ReplyDeleteSad for you Joy but happy for your mom who now lives in glory land with our lord and savior Jesus Christ. Just think all the people she is meeting and rejoicing with.
ReplyDeleteOh Joy,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for the loss of your Mom. I am glad you had the time you had together and also glad that she was happy at her new place. I am very sorry that she fell and all the pain that caused. I am thinking about you and your family during this time.
Lorinda
Joy, you did not fail your mother. You did the best for her. I went through the same thing with my mom, dementia, nursing home (had no choice at the end). She knows you loved her and did the best for her. My deepest sympathy, hugs and prayers.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry for your loss. I am praying for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteMy deepest condolences to you for your loss. My heart goes out to you. You have such an amazing personality. Your mother was a joy to watch. I went threw much of the same when I was caring for my dad. My two siblings were of no use until I shamed them into submission. That's a story I can still use at cookouts when they act out. God bless and looking forward to happier times. So sorry for your loss. Evelyn Bunbury from NYC
ReplyDeleteJoy, so terribly sorry about your mom. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteJoy , I am so sorry for your loss. May you and your family continue to feel tbe powerful arms of Jesus as you miss her terrible and rejoice that she is in the presence of our Lord. Hugs
ReplyDeleteCandy from Indiana
Dearest Joy, Jerry, Tammy, Terry: So very saddened by the loss of your Mother, your friend, our friend. My heart is heavy with yours at this time. May God wrap his arms around you, comfort you at this time and the coming days. Dearest Joy, please know that you are the most incredible daughter, wife, sibling, friend and the finest human. Many hugs to you all. Penny/Oregon
ReplyDeleteDear Joy, my deepest sympathy to you and your family. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteMary Jane from Massachusetts
Oh darling Joy, I am so sorry, I have only just heard about your Mom. Such a sad time but she is with the Lord now and in a good place where nobody can hurt her. My thoughts are with you and I know Jerry will support you. My love to you.
ReplyDeleteLinda Hodges
I am so very sorry for your loss. No matter how long we have our parents it is never long enough. Your mom's passing sounds eerily similar to my mother's passing. She fell and within 24 hours we had lost her. About a month later I went to the hospital and met with the doctor who cared for her what exactly happened. He told me that between her atrial fibrillation and taking Coumadin for that and her shatter hip and shoulder and her dementia that there were just too much damage to fix it. He also told me that most patients who break a hip pass away within a year and that my mother would have been in excruciating pain during that time. I still miss her after 15 years. I'm so glad that God answered your prayers for your Mom and your siblings.
ReplyDelete