I Have GOOD News!

Hey Everybody!!!

Jerry came over to me as I was finishing the dinner dishes and said, "Honey, would you mind if I go down to the pond to fish for awhile?"

He knows I can't leave Mom and go with him, so it was really sweet of him to ask me if he could go.

So Jerry is fishing, and Mom is in her bedroom brushing her teeth and changing into her pajamas.  She does that every night right after eating her bowl of ice cream.  It takes her a long time to do it, but I let her do it alone because it causes her brain to work.  After while, she will come down the hall with a bag of trash from the several little trash cans in her bed and bath.  She empties them every night!  Again, something to work her brain.

I received a very surprising phone call as I was fixing dinner tonight.  It was from the realtor trying to sell my Mom's double-wide mobile home and the land it is on.

I noticed it was her calling and thought, "Oh, no!  WHAT broke now?"

Actually, something WAS broken.  Water was leaking around the bottom of the toilet in the Master Bathroom.  Fortunately, the realtor knows EVERYBODY in that part of the country, and she called a plumber to come right out to fix it.  Haven't heard yet if he showed up and how much it will cost.  Hope it is minor.

But, that wasn't all.  She told me that a young couple had just made an offer on the place.  It was less than we were asking, but we expected that.  I was THRILLED!  That is a huge headache off my plate, and I am very thankful.

AND, the buyers are paying C A S H !   They have a very nice Grandpa.

My Mother is doing really good.  The Hospice company we are using has a doctor that comes to the house.  We had never seen her until yesterday.  It was quite entertaining.  Mom was in a fun mood.  She asked the doctor if she had gone to school.  The doctor assured her she had.  Jerry walked into the kitchen, and Mom said, "That is my son-in-law.  He deals drugs."  The doctor looked surprised at that bit of news.  Thank God I was right there to explain that Jerry is a Pharmacist!

I asked Mom later if she liked the lady doctor who came.  She said she would PREFER a man!

I sew every chance I get.  I've made six new tops recently.  You have seen the patterns before.  Haven't started a new quilt yet because I need a background fabric.  I love the Edyta Sitar batiks, but they are as RARE as Hen's teeth!

I'm, obviously, not the only one that loves her style.  I was finally able to find a few yards of her winter white on Ebay.

My stomach is starting to look a lot like that chicken's!  I'm headed upstairs to get on the Elliptical and trampoline.

Have a great holiday weekend my friends!

Hugs, Joy

Fun Play Day with Terry but Disappointing Too

We had a lovely day.

Terry and I are just EASY together.

You know what I mean?

I don't have to SORT OUT everything that goes through my mind that I want to say to her and make sure she isn't going to be offended by it.  She feels the same way about me.  THAT is what a true friendship should be like in my book.

AND, if I do get upset with her, or she gets upset with me, we just GET OVER IT!  We don't throw away a beautiful friendship because one of us messed up.  We get mad -- we cry -- but then we run into each others arms and say, "I'm so sorry!"  

Terry and I were talking about all of this today, and we agree.  Some "friends" are just impossible to please, and they seem to be waiting to take offense at something you say or do.  We both decided we don't need complicated friendships that make us uneasy and make us feel bad about ourselves.

My friends must realize that if they are looking for perfection in me, they are looking in the WRONG place!

Only Jesus is perfect!

And you are thinking, "WHAT ON EARTH is she talking about!!!?"

Someone I love very much is furious with me because I said something he/she did was stupid, and I STILL believe that what the person did was stupid.  The definition of "stupid" being:  Insensitive -- Silly -- Foolish.  I will not be changing my mind on that!

Is anybody out there MARRIED?!

Do you and your mate ALWAYS AGREE on every little thing?

I promise you my husband and I sure do not.  He hurts my feelings terribly sometimes.  I hurt his.  I can tell him something he did was stupid, but he doesn't fall apart and act like I'm a horrible person. He tells me all the time that something I did is ridiculous.  I just tell him he is wrong, or crazy, or stupid or whatever.  We argue.  We laugh.  We hug and kiss and forget all about it. We have been married 42 years, and I love him more than ever!

MY POINT IS, marriages and friendships should have firm enough foundations that arguments and disagreements don't dissolve them.  We MUST let off steam, or we will burst!  At least, I will.

Let's get back on HAPPY STREET again here!  Did you see my latest VLOG about my Mom and the Beauty Shop and Mother's Day?  If not, here it is:

Now, about our PLAY DAY:

We went to what we THOUGHT was going to be a "Grand Opening" at the new quilt shop in McKinney, TX called "Happiness is Quilting".  We were thinking giveaways, discounts, finger foods, etc. as it just opened for business yesterday.

NONE OF THE ABOVE!

Fabric was $12 to $15 a yard.  Terry and I headed straight for the sale rack way in the back.  She got some nice fabrics for a baby quilt she has been asked to make.  I bought fabrics to make more blouses for my Mom and myself.  I saw a book I wanted, but it was $30.  I can get it from Amazon for $19.

Sure hope that quilt shop doesn't go out of business next.  We decided to go from there to JoAnn's where the prices were much better and we could find pretty knit fabrics.

We went to several other places including Belk's where we both bought several pair of pretty-colored pants.  I think we got the same ones actually.

Gotta go.  TV time, and I need to find something to watch that Jerry can stay awake to.  He is asleep next to me, but if you woke him, he would tell you he is watching TV.  He must have transparent eyelids!

Hugs,
Joy

Flash Cards and Pretty Hair Again

Hello my friends!  I pray you are all well and having a lovely week.  I heard there are terrible floods somewhere, but not sure where.  Please be safe and God bless you who may be enduring them.

This was a good day.  I'm still sad over recent events in my "beyond Mother" life, but I can only thank God every day that Mom is doing so well.  I have to let go what I can let go of -- especially, those things I have no control over.

I am very excited to have found a lady to do Mom's hair here in our tiny town.  It had to be JUST THE RIGHT lady.

My Mom is very demanding and not just anyone can deal with her.  I wanted a small place with one person.  The fewer people, the less confused Mom will get.  The beautician is older -- maybe my age.  I think Mom will be very relaxed with her as she tells her she doesn't know what she is doing, and she is doing it all wrong.

Mom insisted on a manicure and pedicure also, but this lady does not do those.  I may have to do them myself while Mom is getting her perm!



I wanted to tell you about my idea to help Mom remember that is working very well.

As you know, Dementia patients can't remember anything short-term.  Mom is on hospice, so there are several people who come by through the week to visit her.

There are also two ladies who "babysit" her for me so I can go to work.

Every morning and night Mom asks me over and over and over who is coming the next day.  She will walk down the hall to our bedroom late at night and stand in our doorway.  I will ask her what she needs.  She will say, "I HAVE to know something!  WHO is coming tomorrow to see me???"

A few weeks ago, I decided to make some "flash cards" for her.  I think I told you before.  I used 4x6 cards, and wrote with thick sharpies one name to a card.  Then I would hand her the names that would be coming on a certain day.

THEN, Mom started saying, "But I don't know what she looks like."

So I asked each lady if I could take her picture.  I now have new flash cards with names AND pictures so Mom will know who is coming and what they look like.  I put the cards on the kitchen table where she eats breakfast every morning; but yesterday, she decided she has to take the cards WITH HER and have them at all times so she can refer to them.  It is so cute.

A former neighbor and very good friend of hers calls occasionally.  His name is Fred.  He called earlier this evening.  He asked if he could talk to her.  I told him I didn't know if she would remember him.  She was right there near me, so I asked her if she remembered "Fred".  She said, "NO!  I don't KNOW that man!"

I told Fred I would hand her my phone, and maybe his voice would "ring a bell".  They talked for several minutes, and she remembered that he lived next door to her, and she asked him about her house that is now for sale.  Right after he hung up, of course, she wanted to know who he was.

Oh, almost forgot:  Friday is going to be a PLAY DAY for Terry and me.  A new quilt shop is having a Grand Opening in McKinney, TX, and we are going to check it out.  Terry is making a quilt for my Mom because my Mom TOOK the quilt Terry made for me that I keep in Edmond.  I don't need a thing, but I'm sure SOMETHING will jump into my arms while I am there.  I will let you know how it goes.

And THANK YOU to Lorinda who left me the link to the Dementia video and her blog about her Dad.  He saw INVISIBLE horses.  It was a wonderful blogpost.  Here is the link if you would like to see it:
 http://sew-i-do.blogspot.com/search?q=Dementia

TV time.  Jerry was gone all last week, and I am so happy to have him back home.  He helps me a lot with Mom if just to have eyes on the hallway while I take a shower or am upstairs.  He always fixes her TV when she presses all the wrong buttons on the control.

Hugs,
Joy

My Climbing Mother

Hello Everyone!

I wanted to do a new video today, but something happened that made me sad, and I couldn't get the mood back again.

And you KNOW my lightning fast mind.  I just now realized that if I type what I want to say, you can't tell my face is sad today -- except that I always tell you everything anyway!

I'd love to join this little lady in her pity party, but I don't want to WEAR the wine tomorrow.

And besides that, ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD TO THOSE THAT LOVE THE LORD, so it is just a matter of time before my face fits my name again.

I heard the BEST sermon by Joel Osteen last week.  It was about NOT GIVING YOUR JOY AWAY.  Soooooo good!

I really love the way that man thinks.  He said it is bad enough that someone hurts you, or you get stuck in a traffic jam, or you get fired, or, or, or --  but don't give them your joy too.  The Bible says the JOY OF THE LORD IS OUR STRENGTH.  Give me a second, and I'll tell you where it is in the Bible.  (Nehemiah 8:10)  Right now, more than ever, I need all the STRENGTH I can muster.

For my friends that have experience with the elderly and dementia, I would love to hear your opinion on the following issue I am having with my Mom.

My Mom has lived alone for the past 20 years in a double-wide trailer on a little lake about 3 hours away from where we live.  She had white pull-down shades on all of her windows.  Every evening she would go through her whole house and pull all of those blinds completely down.  She would check all the doors and make sure they were locked.

Mom now lives in our house, as you know.  Most of my windows have mini blinds in them, but there is one window over my sink in the kitchen that has an accordion blind that pulls up and down with one long cord.  Hold on.  A picture is worth a thousand words.

In the following pic, NOTICE THE LONG CORD laying inside the windowsill.  Notice the shade is pulled all the way up to the top of the window.

The next picture shows the bar stool she drags over to the sink to CLIMB UP ON!
Notice the faucet.

This last picture shows the blind when it is properly closed.
NOTICE the faucet.
Mom grabs onto the faucet to hold herself, and -- of course -- it pulls out of the fixture, and she falls.

Mom has hurt her leg twice doing this.  There was a large bump and bruise on the front of her lower leg both times.  The last one is still healing.

Today, instead of pulling that bar stool over to the sink, she pulled one of the kitchen table chairs over to the sink.  HOW ON EARTH she even did that is a wonder as she uses a walker or cane at all times, and she drops things all the time.

When I went downstairs to fix dinner, I noticed right away that the faucet was hanging down like that, and the blind was crooked and only 3/4 of the way down, and the vases were moved in the wrong place.  I didn't say anything right then because I had just left her room, and she was fine.  I dreaded the confrontation.

Later, when we were eating dinner, Mom told me she had moved the chair over to the sink and fixed the blinds.  I said, "OH, MOM!  You didn't climb up on that chair, did you?"  She said she did.

So, of course, I had to have a long talk with her about it.

At first, she was combative, and she had the saddest look on her face.  Just like a child in trouble!

Later, after our long talk, she finally agreed that I was right.  She said, "Something told me not to do it, but I did it anyway."   She told me over and over that she was very sorry.

The thing is.  SHE FORGETS!  What about tomorrow -- and the next day -- and the next day.  I don't want to put gates up between the rooms and lock her out of them.

I don't want to lock her in her room.

I pray God assigns extra angels to my Mom to protect her from her broken brain.

Other than that, all is well.  Jerry has been gone all week, but will be back tomorrow afternoon.  He hardly ever goes upstairs, so he usually notices when Mom goes on one of her "walks" to close blinds and doors.  It really helps to have an extra set of eyes and ears on her.

Trust all is well where you are tonight.  I'll be back soon with our Mother/Daughter blouses.

Hugs, Joy

The Problem with Communication is Words!

Yes!

It is SO TRUE.

The problem with communcation is words.

I beg whoever is reading this post to please listen to John Hagee's sermon "Conscience and Communication" from this morning 4-23-17.  It is one of the VERY BEST sermons I have ever heard, and as he said in the introduction, I will NEVER forget it!

He talks about how Satan spoke to Jesus using scripture, BUT he twisted it to have a different meaning that it was meant to.

Satan does this between friends and between husbands and wives all the time.

Something is said, but the person spoken to HEARS it differently than it was intended, and the war begins!

Friendships are shattered.

Marriages are over.

Please listen to the sermon.  I promise, you will laugh out loud, but also learn so much.

At the end, Hagee talked about the POWER OF PRAISE.  "Praise is a weapon of supernatural warfare!"  If our nation ever needed supernatural intervention from God, IT IS NOW!

Just go to GETV.org and look in the archives for the sermon.  OR, if it is still Sunday morning on 4-23-17, you can go to the next service at 11:00 AM CST.

Now, if someone will REMIND me that my Mom doesn't know what she is doing or saying at times, I MIGHT get over her attack this morning and go help her dress.

I woke Mom up an hour before church today so we all could eat breakfast and then be lined up on the front row upstairs in front of the big screen when church started at 8:30.  It is a live service, and it always starts with singing.  I love the music at Cornerstone Church, and I know the words, so I always sing out loud.  Jerry does sometimes, but not very loud.  I do everything loud!

Anyway, Mom slept through most of the music.

She woke up about the time the sermon started.  She loves John Hagee.  Anyway, John started out by telling some funny stories/jokes at the beginning.  I was cracking up laughing at him, as was the audience.

Mother looked over at me from her recliner to mine and SNARLED:  "Will you PLEASE shut up that cackling!  I can't hear what he is saying!"

I hadn't heard the sermon yet -- that is my excuse -- and I looked over at her and told her to quit being a witch.  She snarled something else at me, but I just ignored her, and I have been ignoring her ever since.

The best way for me to get her OUT of that personality is to stop doing things for her.  She realizes SOMETHING is wrong and asks me about it.  THEN I can explain, and she always apologizes.

The thing is, when Mom watches MASH or sermons, she doesn't GET the humor.  She gets mad if Jerry or I laugh when MASH is on.  She tells us it is about soldiers, and we should not be laughing.  Jerry tells her it is a comedy, and she just looks at him like he is nuts.  Hence the attack during the sermon this morning.  She didn't like me laughing at it.

I guess I'll go downstairs and be "the spiritual one".  (Listen to the sermon.  (-; )

I'm going to start a new quilt.  Stay tuned for updates.

God bless you all and may your Spirits get fat!  (Listen to the sermon. (-: )

Hugs, Joy

It's a Wonderful Life!

Hello Everybody!

This has been a happy and crazy day with a very frustrating end!

It is such a hassle when you have to buy new stuff, don't you think.  In this instance, it is two TV's. Seems harmless enough, but wait!

JUST because the TV you buy your Mom is new doesn't mean it is going to have a good picture, and the people aren't going to have yellow hair and green bodies.  Good Heavens!  My mother's brain is mixed up enough already!

JUST because you find out that your own big screen TV is suddenly broken and doesn't work and is considered a dinosaur doesn't mean you can just go buy another one and a cabinet to place it on.

Well, you can BUY the cabinet, but you can't expect someone to deliver it to you, unless, of course, the young lady behind the check out counter really does know someone who knows someone who MIGHT be able to deliver the cabinet to you -- IF you call her FIVE times the next day to see if she found said person.

JUST because two hulks show up at the door to deliver the new big screen TV, doesn't mean that when they carry out your old TV that they won't drop it on your front porch and break one of the bricks in half leaving a sharp cutting edge sticking out and half the brick lying on the ground.

And JUST because you call the store where you bought it and tell Customer Service that your front porch is now broken and you want it fixed that the person is REALLY going to tell the Manager and he/she will call you back.

UGH!!!

That has been our yesterday and today except for Jerry going to the knee doctor who told him it takes six to eight weeks to recover from the surgery, and I guess his knee still hurts like crazy because it has been only six weeks.  I went to my heart doctor to find out I have a leaky valve and it beats too fast at times, and I am not to take decongestants even though my nose is running like a sieve at this very moment, and, OF COURSE, I am not to drink caffeine.

Other than that, all is perfectly wonderful in my life.

Seriously!  How many millions would not LOVE to have my little inconveniences.

I did have a lovely lunch with Phylly today.  She took a long lunch so she could follow me to JoAnn's Fabrics after lunch.  Both of us were VERY disappointed at the poorly lit, disorganized, jumbled up "mess" of fabric at the JoAnn's, so we went to Hobby Lobby across the street.  It was well lit and the fabric was cheerful and Spring-like, and I found three pieces I could not resist.  Phylly found only one.  We actually both realized we didn't have anyplace to PUT the fabric we were buying, but we didn't care!

My daughter came over this morning and took my Mother home to her house so her Dad and I could go to the doctor today.  I think they left here about 10:00 this morning.

Jerry and I arrived at my daughter's house about 5:30 tonight to pick Mom up.  She already had on her coat and her hat and was standing at the door!  She had been pointing to her watch and asking Tammy WHEN we were coming to get her since 3:00.  Tammy was VERY READY to let her Grandma leave.

My Mom thought Jerry was going to stay at Tammy's, and only she was going to come home with me.  Then when I was seat buckling her into the back seat of my car, I gave her a hug.  She said, "When will I be seeing you again?"  LOL.  I told her in about one second when I got in the front seat.  Sad but so funny.

Better get this head in bed.

Trust all of you are having a wonderful life and a wonderful week.

Hugs, Joy

A Quick Hello and VLOG

My goodness!

My life has changed so much, I barely have time to BLOG these days.  I'm trying to build a new wardrobe for Mom so she will have nice things to wear that are not 20 years old and way too big. Mom quit shopping for clothes many years ago.  She weighs only 117 pounds, so she is little.  She used to be a Size 14 in pants and wore Large tops.  Hence, those are the sizes she still has in her closet.

For those who don't know, my Mom who has Dementia moved in with us on January 1st.  She has done really well most of the time.  Last night and today she seemed much more confused than usual.  I am praying it is a temporary setback.  I hate to see her decline.  It will be hard.

Last night, she got out of bed about 10:30, came down the dark hallway into the kitchen, and she opened the freezer drawer.  By that time I had jumped out of bed and joined her and asked her what she was doing.  She said she had not had any dinner and she needed to make some.

My Mom does NOT cook at all.  It would not be safe!  I do all the cooking.  I had cooked a nice dinner, and she had eaten well, including her Butter Pecan ice cream topped with Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream for dessert.
I explained all that to her and walked her back to her bedroom.

A little while ago Jerry and I were sitting on our bed watching a basketball game.  Mom came into our room as she often does in the evenings.  I asked her what she needed and motioned for her to come sit next to me on the bed.  She told me she was VERY worried!  She said she had looked and looked, and she could not find her Visa card.

I asked her why she needed her Visa card.

She said that she was going to be leaving tomorrow to get her hair done, and she was going to have to have that Visa card to pay the girl.

I explained to her all about how the girl comes HERE to WASH her hair -- not perm it, and that I would take her soon to get a permanent, but I would pay for it.  I told her she didn't need to ever worry about money again.  She asked about her house and WHO was going to clean it up.  I pointed to myself.

She looked at me and said, "So you are going to take care of everything?"

I said, "Yes, Mom, you don't have to worry about anything anymore."

She gave me a huge hug and said she was going to her room.

I asked her if she remembered where her room was.  She said, "Yes, it is right next to yours."

Her room is down the hall at the other end of the house.  Sooooooooooooooo sad.  Breaks my heart.

That is my life now.  Caring for my Mom.  We have a wonderful new lady to help us, so I now have two.  The new lady is a Nurse, and unlike the first lady, she can stay full days for me.  That means I can go to work once or twice a week.  I really need to be there too.  Jerry is home still recovering from knee surgery, so he hasn't been going to work.

Gotta go check on Mom.  I go in several times before bedtime.

Here's my latest VLOG if you haven't already seen it.

Be back when I have something to show you.

Hugs, Joy