We got a call this morning from Power Lift telling us they would arrive in Kingfisher at my MIL's house at 11:30 this morning. So Jerry and I took our time getting ready and driving over there. We stopped by the Ford Dealership near her home to pick up her Ford Windstar that has been on their used car lot since Christmas. They were supposed to try to sell it for us. I doubt they tried very hard. I paid $60 to have the van "detailed". From what I can tell, they BROKE the seatbelt cord cover that attaches to the space between the doors, and they left enough dirt in it to plant potatoes!
So the Power Lift people showed up. A team of five guys. They ALL spoke English and appeared to have gone to school past the 6th grade. The boss guy is Blake. He told us that if anything went wrong, we were to blame Montana. Right then, a young man popped his head into the kitchen and announced that he was "Montana". Blake explained that it was going to get VERY LOUD and VERY DUSTY. They began hanging giant sheets of plastic all over the walls. Jerry and I had already covered up the few pieces of furniture left in the house with drop cloths. Jerry decided that I would not do well in that climate, so he suggested that I take his van and come back home. So here I am -- back at home talking to you!
I walk into Wal-Mart and head straight to the Pharmacy. I notice a lady just walking away from the counter, so I DASH up there thinking I have really picked the right time to come. I ask the clerk if they have Drixoral D. She says she never heard of it. I ask her if they have Allerest D (wrong name), and she says she never heard of it either. I ask her if she can look. She informs me that there is a long line and I need to get in it! I turn around and look behind me from a different area than the one I entered from, and sure enough, there are five women with baskets in line. I announce to the five women that I'm sorry, and that I just wanted to find out if they made a certain drug. They look at me like they don't care WHY I'm there -- I better get in the BACK of the line! I smile and push my basket through the narrow walkway, tell them I'm so sorry, and I line up behind them. They turn out to be quite nice, and we begin chatting about allergies and having to sign your life away to even buy them these days and how the drug addicts make it so hard on everyone else.
About that time a large man with big, muscular arms comes up behind me in the line. He is holding a bunch of things in his arms -- instead of a basket -- and he starts talking very loud to the 2nd lady in front of me. She evidently made the mistake of making eye contact with the guy. He starts yelling at her, "I am in insurance, and I have had thousands of claims, and do you KNOW how many crimes have ever been settled in my company??????????" The lady doesn't say anything. He doesn't care. He continues, "I'll TELL you how many -- NONE -- NOT ONE -- NEVER!!! She says something acknowledging she heard him. Then he starts telling all of us, "I have a friend who works for State Farm, and they have even more claims than I have had, and guess how many crimes have been solved since he has been there?" We don't say anything, but he keeps on telling us anyway: "I will tell you how many -- NONE -- NOT ONE -- NEVER!!!" "Somebody broke into this house and they stole $60,000 worth of furniture, and not only that, they filled the family's car with garbage and deficated in it, and they urinated all over the walls in the house!!!" "Do you think anyone ever solved that crime!?" We all say, "No!"
So all the people in front of me leave to go get waited on, and I am left alone in the line with this man. I get my cell phone out of my pocket, and I TRY to call Phylly to ask her the correct name of the allergy meds she takes, but the man WON'T leave me alone. He keeps on talking to me. He tells me that he took a young black kid into his home for two whole years and treated him like his own son. He says he took him right off the street. I'm trying to dial Phylly while holding the phone in front of his face so he can see -- but he doesn't care. "That's right -- I took him in and I got him a job, and I started him in college." "Guess what he did then?" I turn around to face him more so he can SEE I'm TRYING to make a phone call. He doesn't care. "I'll tell you what he did!" "He dropped out of college -- he quit his job -- and his Mother got him on Welfare as soon as he turned 18!"
Finally, Phylly answered the phone, and the clerk called me up to the counter at the same time. The guy was still talking to me telling me how much the kid's welfare check was every month. I'm sure half of Wal-Mart heard the whole story.
The clerk then asks me what I want. I tell her I want Allegra D. She says, "Do you want the SMALL bottle or the BIG bottle?" I tell her I want the big bottle. She brings over the "big" bottle which is just a very small flat box. I ask her how many pills are in it. She says there are 15. I ask if she is sure that is the "big" bottle. She says it is and that the small bottle only has 10 pills. I ask if I can buy TWO bottles so it will last a month. NO! That is NOT allowed! This is NOT even a prescription drug. How crazy!
That lady gets all done and leaves. The clerk had not really spoken to her. All she did was take all her coupons and stack her things up on top of each other. I have just a couple boxes of pills but REMEMBER they are for allergies. It just so happens that this clerk is a ROCKET SCIENTIST of sorts in the field of toxins and allergies. She tells me that I need to watch a program called ION (I think it was). Then she begins her lecture series:
"We all are trying very hard to get rid of plastic. We do a little more every day to help the environment. Plastic is toxic, you know, and it never goes away. You are probably allergic to all the toxins in your house!"
"You need to check EVERY rug in your house to see if it has any styrofoam in it!"
"And you should never use any styrofoam products at all because they are toxic and they NEVER go away!"
"And if your house catches on fire, you could die of toxic gasses if your carpets have this certain chemical in them. You need to walk all around your house and smell as hard as you can, and if you smell something that doesn't smell right, it is because your CARPETS ARE TOXIC!"
"And you need to check all of your furniture. Your furniture could be toxic too. Try to smell it, and if it has a funny smell, you need to get rid of it right away in case your house catches on fire!"
As I picked up my bags of pills and was walking away, she was still telling me how many toxins were in my house. I was hoping that man from the pharmacy would come up there and check out in her lane. Wouldn't they be a team!