Sunday, April 22, 2012

Vacation, Sermon Notes and Friends

What a nice four days this has been.  Jerry would not agree at all, but TO ME, we have been on vacation.  Jerry has been out in the yard working -- we've had to go to Ace Hardware several times -- we've gone out to lunch and out to dinner -- he is sleeping on two blown up air mattresses, one on top of the other, and most of the house is empty.  I am sleeping in the only bed remaining in the house which is a single electric bed.  To me, it is like camping out in luxury.  The phone NEVER rings here, and his cell phone didn't ring even once yesterday!  We shoveled and raked and filled heavy trash bags with dead stuff and broken bricks.  He sprayed weeds with Round-Up as I went behind him pulling them out of the ground.  He told me I was crazy.  I was happy he was OUTSIDE doing anything besides sitting at his computer working.

I have cleaned and cleaned and cleaned, fixed areas that required paint touch-up, vacuumed carpet fuzzies up all over the house, done laundry, washed windows and sills, cooked hot dogs and beans and done various other duties INCLUDING breaking the pull-up thingy on the cheap faucet we put in the bathroom last summer.  I didn't WANT the cheap faucet, but in this little town, it was all we could find that would fit in the sink holes.  Another fix-it job for tomorrow which means MAYBE I'll get to have my husband one more day here in the sunny vacation paradise of Kingfisher, OK!

It is 8:20 AM, and Jerry is still in bed!!!  He is usually up at 5 AM working at his computer in his underwear.  I went in a minute ago and layed down next to him to shnuggy him.  I asked him if he was going to sleep until noon.  He said, "I might!"  I had to get up because I heard the air mattress shift, and I was afraid it was going to explode under my delicate frame!  This TRULY is a vacation!

Computer church starts in a few minutes, so I guess sermon notes will be at the end of my post today............................................  Okay, church is over, and here are sermon notes for today:

Pastor Hagee's son, Matthew, preached today.  Very good, as always.  He preached that Help Is On The Way -- I would have changed the title to "Help Is ALREADY Here!", but then he didn't ask my opinion on that.  The message was "peace through strength" -- not "peace through compromising with terrorists".

Jesus already gave us all the power and tools and instructions we need to defeat evil in our lives.  Problem is, most don't even know there IS an instruction manual, and those that do couldn't tell you anything that is in it, never mind actually APPLY it to their lives.  (That is my little sermon note -- not Matthew's.)

Matthew said, "God does not associate with terrorists, and God is NOT a pacifist"!  "What Jesus did while he was here, you can do right now."  (I know that is in John 14.)  "Peace is a biproduct of DUTY".  "God is not our Butler, He is our Commander in Chief!"

Matthew said that the divorce rate is approaching 70%.  How awful.  He said couples just separate and walk away from a conflict rather than dealing with it.  I sure did NOT inherit that gene!  I will fight like a tiger to get across my point in a conflict, and I will do all I can to get the other person to do the same!  I always tell Jerry, "You HAVE to communicate!!!"  Our daughters response to any conflict is, "I don't want to talk about it."  You sure won't ever get anything resolved that way.

Just a few years ago I had a relationship with a woman that I thought would be my friend for life.  I loved her dearly, and we talked, emailed or had lunch every day, and we got together for dinner at least once a week.  I thought we were best buds and would be forever.  I could tell her almost anything.  Problem was, she couldn't tell me anything.  She got upset with me over a big piece of stupid I did, and she just ERASED me from her life.  HOW does someone do that?  If it had been the other way around, I would have simply gone to her and said, "What is your PROBLEMO lady?  WHY did you say that?  WHY did you do that?"

But, no.  Nothing.  Total avoidance.  And when I see her, it is like torture to me.  I literally get sick to my stomach, and I am afraid -- afraid to be me.  I tried for years to act like everything was okay -- like before -- but she was soooooooooooo cold and so standoffish.  I don't know how to be like that.  I am a wide open book.  I say what I think, and I think what I say -- to a fault, at times, for sure -- but to me, that is better than living a lie.  Isn't a friendship WORTH some communication and above all, forgiveness?  It's a dagger in my heart to have lost such a dear friend, but then again, I guess she really wasn't, was she.  I have to give that pain to God and pray he helps me learn how to deal with it.  If I could just LEARN -- once and for all! -- how to be PERFECT and never do anything wrong -- maybe these things wouldn't happen to me.

It is a GORGEOUS day, and after typing that last bit, I realize that the reason I am so happy AWAY from home is because of that exact issue.  I am always in fear of running into her.  I want to run over and hug her and play like nothing ever happened -- but then, I suddenly remember that she doesn't like me anymore, and I freeze.  I'm going to enjoy what may be the last day of our vacation, and I'm going to Thank God all day long for loyal friends like Phylly, Margaret and Deanna.  They overlook my many faults, and they just love me anyway.



  1. I am glad that you are enjoying your vacation :)
    It sounds like you are both working very hard.
    Friendship is a funny thing and my philosphy is that you should be yourself and if people dont like that well it is their problem and loss.
    I have been quilting this weekend - lots of feline "help" (not) but for a pot luck bag of fabric the ugly blocks have turned into something quite nice even if the colours are not something I would normally choose.
    I enjoy reading your blog it makes me smile :)

  2. I love it when I get a comment. That makes me smile! Would love to see your quilt top. My two cats are outside most of the time. Way too hairy for my sewing room, lol.
    Hugs, Joy

  3. Goodness, if you can't be yourself with a friend, then they aren't much of a friend. Maybe that is why we get along so well. We are just ourselves when we are together. If I had to be someone else, I wouldn't be happy.

    I feel sorry for the former friend. She doesn't know the treasure she had in you. I do, and I'm glad you are my friend. I am so blessed by you.

    Hugs, Phylly

  4. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwe,shucks!, Phylly. You say the nicest things.

  5. How touching. I am sorry this has happened to you. I must say, you have made me realize (as the same thing has happened to me) it is HER loss. Anyone would be blessed to have you as a friend - a person who is caring and passionate.

  6. Great, Roberta! Where do you live. Come over for coffee and a chat any time!
    Hugs, Joy


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