Joyful Expressions: Granny Get Your Gun!

Rev. Hagee preached my personal sermon this morning. I could preach it for him if he ever needs a stand-in. It goes like this:

Don't complain about what you permit.
You are the PARENT, not the BUTLER and you are in control -- or SHOULD BE.

He really was teaching about the fact that Jesus was MEEK, but he wasn't WEAK!

I love that one too. I am a confrontational person if you do something to hurt someone or do something that is illegal or dishonest in my presence. I am the type to SPEAK UP and try to stop it, if I can. Most people -- especially, family -- get super pissed off, and tell me to mind my own business. Their favorite line is this one:

"You shouldn't JUDGE."

That is the most worn out and misused line I have ever heard. The Bible NEVER SAID you shouldn't judge. OF COURSE, we have to judge. We have to judge our behavior -- other's behavior -- circumstances around us -- and on and on -- all the time. The Bible says, "You will know them by their fruits."

Okay. If I look at a tree that is supposed to be an Apple tree, and it has Pears on it, I better make a judgment that SOMETHING IS WRONG! Same with people. If you tell me you are a Christian and you love God, but you buy drugs and use them and think it is perfectly fine for you to do that, and if I object, you tell me I am JUDGING you, then YOU are the one with the problem -- not me. And the "problem" is called sin.

Like I said, I could preach this one for hours. I find that most people majorly object to this sermon, however, so I shall spare you any more of it. If you get a chance -- and care to hear Hagee's version -- you can go to www.jhm.org. His version goes into politics and Christians standing against sin. He says that the owner of Chick Fil-A has probably been promoted to such a high crown in heaven, that we will have Chick Fil-A at the marriage supper of the lamb!

So, NOW, I get to tell you about shooting school. We spent 8 hours yesterday learning about guns and the laws concerning them and many incidents in real life that will scare you bad enough that you will want a gun too!!!

The class started out in a lovely little church in Choctaw, OK. The preacher of the church attended and actually PRAYED before the class. I was SUPER-IMPRESSED and settled into the most comfortable state known to my mind. I trusted these people to tell me the truth, and felt surrounded by like-minded people. I was on the front row -- my favorite place to be -- and I could look the two guys teaching us right in the eye. The younger man, Tim, was a policeman, and the other man, Roy, had been in some kind of law enforcement.

Roy had just had a birthday August 9th and was 62, and since I just had a birthday August 4th and am also 62, I felt some sort of kinship with the guy named Roy, and I think he liked me too. We both got a gun for our birthday. That one is mine.

He came over late in the day and asked if I wanted to take a pic with him. I have NO IDEA why, because he wasn't having his picture taken with anyone else. Well, actually, I do know why. I had asked him if I could take pictures earlier in the day explaining that I have a blog, and I take lots of pictures. He said that it was perfectly fine.

My goodness! Check out our matching hairdos! Nice guy. He said he lives with his wife and two cats. So does Jerry! I would love to be friends with he and his wife because he can teach us so much about gun safety and home defense. His wife is very good with a gun, and she was there too. She handled all the paperwork.

One thing he taught us was that MY personality is the very type to end up in jail. No, he didn't point at me and say, SHE is a major PITA and will end up in jail, but that was my interpretation of what he told us. You wonder why people don't get involved when they see another person being harmed; but after you listen to this guy, you won't be getting involved either!

Example and true story: A guy is driving down a road. He notices on the side of the road that a woman is on the ground and a man is hitting her with a crowbar (tire tool). The guy has a conceal and carry permit and a gun, so he stops to assist the poor lady being beaten with the crowbar. TURNS OUT that the lady was a drug addict stoned on meth, and she had just stabbed the man in the back twice with a knife! He was just defending himself against the woman. Therefore, the nice man that stopped to help, became the aggressor and the criminal.

What the man SHOULD HAVE DONE was call 911 and send help to whichever one was the victim.

After class, we all took a test -- about 30 of us. Roy gave us the answers to each question, and we all got a hundred. Sounds wrong, but it wasn't. We did not KNOW the answers yet, and he taught us about each one so we could answer it as we went.

Then we drove about five miles to a spot where we could shoot paper men. It was SO MUCH FUN! I only got yelled at once which is pretty good for me. I had taken my sunglasses off for a second, and Roy hollered at me from across the field. Good grief! I wasn't even holding the gun. I was putting in my earplugs that were big enough for Godzilla, and they wouldn't stay put!

Here I am shooting my birthday present at the paper man. It was fun, fun, fun. I love the gun. It is little, and I can hold on to it. It isn't heavy and it doesn't blow your arm back over your head like Jerry's big Clint Eastwood revolver does.

You can see the bright orange earplug that is more OUTSIDE my ear than INSIDE my ear. I'm going to buy some of those nice ear covers like all the other people had. They go over your head and look like big earmuffs. Jerry, obviously, couldn't walk around in front of me to take my picture. I already knew that if I turned around with my gun and pointed it at him -- for a picture -- that all **** would break loose. Therefore, I had Jerry take a picture of me this morning so you can see my gun better.

And be sure to notice my #1, most important SAFETY feature: My trigger finger! And there are NO bullets in the gun, so I promise I can't shoot the door or the mirror. I am smarter than I look!

And I almost forgot! Here is my paper man. I was aiming for the #7 on the left with 5 bullets, so that is why those holes are over there. Also aimed at the little man in the upper left with 5 bullets. I think I hit him once. Other than that, I did pretty good! If he was a REAL man, he wouldn't be in the best of health.